


Abiding Fates

by TheFoolsKnight



Series: Spell My Name In Your Blood [3]
Category: The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Eldest Curses Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Christmas Party, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, Hallucinogens, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Murder Mystery, New Year's Eve, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Yandere Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFoolsKnight/pseuds/TheFoolsKnight
Summary: It's holiday season. Snow is falling, people are carolling, and Magnus, like every year, is vacationing at a ski resort with a bunch of his collegemates.Except this time, Santa has decided to deliver corpses instead of gifts.People are turning up dead all across the resort, and Magnus has no idea who to blame. And if he wants to catch the murderer in time, he needs to trust his now ex-boyfriend Alec more than ever.Except he doesn't know if he can.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Spell My Name In Your Blood [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1376269
Comments: 39
Kudos: 70





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone!  
> Yes, I know, Christmas isn't the most conventional time to start posting a murder mystery, but if you'd rather read Christmassy fluff, you're always welcome to use the back button. :)  
> Also, if you haven't already read the first two parts, then I highly recommend that you do. This part won't make much sense otherwise.  
> Happy reading !

Alec still remembered the first time he met Magnus.

It was his first day of college, and he was nervous - he was in an unfamiliar place, all by himself. It had been too long since he roamed so free.

It wasn’t all good, however. People were turning to stare at him as he walked past, his shoulders hunched over and gaze on their ground. They were all looking at him so strangely, as if he were some strange, unapproachable animal. Alec couldn’t help but frown at it all. He didn’t understand why - he was dressed pretty normally, in a dark full-sleeved T-shirt and jeans, like he usually was. He didn’t get what he was doing wrong.

_ You really think they’ll welcome someone like you?  _ whispered the unwelcome voice in his head.

_ You’re a freak, and they all know it. _

He felt irrational anger strike him all of a sudden. Maybe if his parents had allowed him to go out, he wouldn’t have turned out like this. Maybe he would’ve been better. No one else had his problem. Everywhere he looked, people were mingling, talking to each other, and Alec wanted to join them, but he didn’t know how to.

His hands ached for a knife. He wanted a knife in his hand and a person to play around with, consequences be damned.

But he’d left all his blades at home. He had already moved out, so his parents couldn’t stop him even if they wanted to, but he wanted to prove a point to them, he supposed. That he wasn’t entirely the monster they claimed he was.

Alec picked up his pace, hurrying to his first class. He didn’t want to be late, and besides, there would be time to socialise later.

_ You can’t even talk to strangers, and now you want to make small talk with them? _

Alec’s head felt hot, and he blinked back tears. He picked up his pace as he neared an intersection.

Something struck him hard and he stumbled back, only to be steadied by a strong arm around his waist. Alec gasped and flailed his arms out, grasping the person’s shoulders. The stranger was wearing a shirt of some sort of silky material, and he could feel hard muscle under the cloth. Alec’s eyes flew open, only to look into the eyes of the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

His eyes, green mixed with gold and fringed with black, were odd but beautiful, contrasting wonderfully with his jet black hair and brown skin. His lips, which appeared to be coated with lip gloss, quirked up into a soft, amused smile that briefly took Alec’s breath away.

“Are you alright?” he asked, and the rest of the world faded away at the sound of his voice.

_ No,  _ Alec wanted to say.  _ I’m so frustrated and lonely, and I don’t know what to do. _

But as he looked at this man, his anger faded away, his mind turning almost blank until something akin to admiration remained. He simply nodded.

The man’s smile grew sweeter, and he pulled away, and Alec almost immediately missed the feeling of his touch, his warmth.

“Be careful,” he told Alec with that same, sweet smile, and Alec could only watch as he walked past Alec.

Alec watched him leave, and touched his chest, right over his heart. His stomach felt weird, and he suddenly understood why people talked about having butterflies in their stomachs. His heart was fluttering in his chest. It was all so strange.

Was this what they called love?

Magnus missed Alec.

He was sitting on one of the benches in the garden, looking up into the trees which were once green, and thinking of Alec, thinking of the time they properly met. He remembered Alec, perched atop a branch and looking down at him with those enigmatic eyes.

And now he couldn't see Alec anymore.

After he moved out of Alec's, he'd tried to meet Alec, he really did, but Alec was much better at the avoiding game than him - he didn't pick up when Magnus called, he didn't reply to any messages, and no matter how hard Magnus tried, he simply couldn't find Alec. He'd visited Alec's home a couple of times, only to find the doors and windows locked up. Since he had returned the key, he was forced to wait at least forty minutes each time, knocking on the door every few minutes and waiting for Alec to open up.

It was ridiculous. He wasn't the kind of person who chased after their ex. It was even more ridiculous if you considered that he was the one who broke up with Alec. The last time he had heard from Alec was his birthday, if finding the words 'Happy Birthday' written on your mirror in lipstick counted as having heard from someone.

But the truth was - he was worried about Alec. All he could about was Alec's expression, so open and vulnerable when he talked about his past. He wanted the best for Alec, wanted him to forget about Magnus and live his life. Most importantly, he was concerned about Alec.

He knew Alec was alive and fine. There were times, every now and then, when he'd feel Alec's eyes on him, but he would look all around him, trying to find Alec but unable to. He wanted to see Alec, make sure he was truly fine.

Magnus's phone buzzed, and he impatiently pulled it out, only to see a few texts from Catarina.

_ The registrations are open _

_ I'm sorry that me and Ragnor can't make it like we used to :( _

_ Enjoy yourself! _

Magnus had told Catarina the day after homecoming about his break up with Alec. She'd slapped her forehead, and berated him about not listening to her and making terrible life choices, but she never brought it up afterwards, and he was grateful for that.

He looked at the messages again. Catarina was talking about the annual trip to the ski resort outside the city. The college did it every single year, and it lasted from a little before Christmas to the second of January. Magnus went for it every year, though last year he had been too jittery and anxious to properly enjoy himself. This time, though, he desperately needed a break - ever since he returned from Paris, he'd just wanted another break, and this was his chance.

Alec watched Magnus from behind a bush as he pulled out his phone, his beautiful eyes flicking over the screen. It was overwhelming, sometimes, just how beautiful Magnus was.

He watched Magnus's head, bowed down towards the phone, the sun striking him in all the right places and making him look so, so unreal. Alec wanted to walk over to him, wanted to put his hand on Magnus cheek and look into his eyes, those eyes that looked as if metallic green and gold paint had been thrown together but hadn't quite mixed together. Wanted to kiss Magnus, get lost in him, like, like-

_ That's like comparing drugs to oxygen, Alexander. Don't. _

Alec's fists tightened. But he couldn't. He couldn't trust himself around Magnus. He had hurt Magnus, and now Magnus hated him for it, and Alec couldn't even bring himself to show his face to Magnus. But he watched over him, still. The least he could do was make sure that Magnus was safe and happy. Even if it meant watching Magnus move on with someone he loved, someone who loved him back. Not like Alec. His father had told him once that he was incapable of loving someone. And Magnus had told him it was true.

He watched as Magnus raised his head, and turned in his direction. Alec ducked, his breath hitching in his throat, and he waited a few beats before he looked up and saw that Magnus was gone.

"I told you, Aline,  _ I'm not interested." _

"Oh, shut up," Aline shushed him. "Look at you. You're like a walking corpse. You  _ need  _ this, Alec."

Alec mumbled something unintelligible under his breath and let Aline Penhallow drag him towards the office. She was practically forcing him to sign up for the annual ski trip, but Alec wasn't interested. Partly because he didn't want to go on the stupid trip and be forced to spend time with people, partly because the sparse amount of people signing up for the program meant he would have to spend time with Magnus, who always went on the trip, and he didn't want that. He much preferred watching Magnus from a distance at the moment.

But Aline, his one and only childhood friend was having none of it.

"Come on, Alec," she urged, and turned to him. There was concern in her eyes as she faced Alec. "Look, I know it can be tough, going through a breakup-" Alec looked away, "-and I know it can be especially tough if you've been dumped on prom night, but you have to move on! Get your shit together, Lightwood."

Alec snatched his hand away from Aline. "Maybe I don't want to move on." He glared at Aline. "And what do you care, anyway? You haven't seen me since we were twelve. You're about as big a part of my life as the janitor."

Alec turned around and walked maybe a few steps before Aline's voice rang out from behind him. She sounded nonchalant, as if she didn't really care at all.

"Fine, then. Go ahead. Sit and sulk around. I don't care. Go be lonely for the rest of your life."

Alec froze, the words having struck a chord somewhere within him. He gritted his teeth and turned.

"Fine," he spat. "Fine, I'll sign up for your stupid trip."

Aline smiled.

_ He sipped his tea, the window beside him open to the world, and smiled. _

_ It had been a dull couple of weeks - the hotel had been too empty for his liking, and the people present weren't to his liking. He couldn't wait for fresh blood. _

_ He looked out of the window, the ground outside caked with the earlier spell of snow. _

_ There was too much white. _

_ He couldn't wait to coat it with red. _

By the time Magnus got to the minibus, it was nearly full.

He dumped his bags in the boot with the help of the driver, and then quickly climbed onto the minibus, only to discover that there were maybe three seats left. There was one right next to Raphael, and that's where he went.

"Hey, Raphael," he greeted as he sat down, but Raphael just waved him off, too busy with his phone. Magnus rolled his eyes, and turned to the person in his other side.

It was a boy, fast asleep with his head resting against the front seat. He was wearing a thick sweater, and jeans, and had black hair that stuck out in all directions like a frenzied octopus.

It was very familiar black hair.

His heart missed a beat in his chest, and Magnus bent over, trying to catch his face. His guess was right. It was Alec.

Magnus just stared at him. It had been so long since he last saw Alec, and he was here now, here and real. His eyes were closed, and his lips were slightly parted as sighs of sleep escaped them.

Even in sleep, he looked so… sad.

"Hey!" Magnus jerked up, and saw the girl in the front seat glaring at him. Her eyes widened when she saw who he was. "You're Magnus, aren't you? Alec's ex?"

Magnus frowned. "Yes."

The girl - whom he now recognized as Dean Penhallow's daughter, Irene - narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Magnus said sarcastically, "I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to come along on this trip."

Irene was about to say something else when the girl sitting next to her cut in, saying, "Let it go, Aline."

Magnus bit his tongue for having gotten her name wrong, and Aline turned away with a huff. The bus started, and Magnus couldn't help but let his gaze slip to Alec beside him.

It had been  _ so long _ .

Magnus's heart ached. He wanted to hold Alec close, run his hands through Alec's soft locks and make sure he was okay. But he couldn't. They weren't fit for each other, and that was that.

So he looked away, the distance between them cold as ice.

The bus jerked to a stop, and Magnus looked up from his phone.

He’d busied himself by watching random videos on YouTube, while every one around him were minding their own businesses. There weren’t many people, maybe fifteen in all. There was Magnus himself, and Alec, and Aline in front along with her girlfriend. There was also Raphael and his friends Lily and Elliot, and sitting somewhere in the front was Malcolm Fade along with his girlfriend Annabel. Hypatia Vex was sitting across the aisle from them, and these were only the people Magnus knew.

Now they all stood up, one by one, and got off the bus. Everyone seemed exhausted from the journey. Magnus definitely was.

He bit his lip and looked at Alec, wondering whether or not he had to wake Alec up. Before he could make up his mind, however, Aline reached over and shook him awake.

“Alec!” she yelled. “Alec, wake up! We’re here!”

Alec stirred and slowly sat up straight, rubbing his eyes. “What?”

Aline sighed. “We’re here. Come on.”

“Oh.” Alec got up and shoved past to the front. It was as if Magnus didn't even exist for him, as if he wasn't _ here.  _ Magnus could only stare at his retreating back.

“Get moving,” he snapped. Magnus frowned. Usually he would’ve made a retort but his heart wasn’t in it.

He got up and made his way to the front of the bus. He could only hope these ten days would be all fine.

After collecting his luggage and checking in with one of the incharges to see which room he would be staying in, Magnus dragged his bags to room 106. He was a little miffed out since this room wouldn't have a balcony - it was on the ground floor, after all, but there wasn't really much he could do.

He stopped in front of the room and opened the mahogany door with some difficulty. The room behind it was not so different from the one he had last year - the same double bed, two plush armchairs by the large windows, a TV and a minifridge and a closet made up of the same wood as the door. There was only one bed, but he didn't really mind sharing.

Magnus had just put his bags down when the door swung open again. He straightened up to greet his roommate for the vacation, and froze when he saw who it was.

Alec was standing in the open doorway, one hand on his suitcase and the other on the door. He stared blankly at Magnus, which was underwhelming. Magnus had expected gazes of longing, not gazes like these - where Alec's eyes felt like fathomless pits.

"What are you doing here?" Magnus blurted out.

Alec blinked. "This is my room."

"Oh." Magnus couldn't help but look at the lonely bed in the middle of the room. Turns out he did mind sharing the bed. He couldn't sleep in the same bed as his murderous ex-boyfriend. He simply couldn't. "Um, make yourself at home. I'll be right back."

He sauntered past Alec out of the room, and then broke into a run. Soon enough, he found one of the incharges.

"I have a problem," he gasped out as soon he was in front of her with no preamble. "There are two people in my room and only one bed."

The incharge looked at him curiously. "Who's your roommate?"

"Alec Lightwood."

The incharge beamed at him. "You're  _ both  _ guys, aren't you? Then I don't see any problem."

Before Magnus could reply, she spun on her heel and left.

"Bu-but-" Magnus spluttered, even though she was long gone, "That's  _ exactly  _ the problem."

He crossed his arms and huffed under his breath, " _ Straight people." _

He slowly turned around and went back to the room. He had no choice now, but to spend ten days sharing a room with Alec.

The day was quiet, with everyone resting or quietly talking in the lounge. Magnus himself had chosen to take a nap, and it was evening by the time he woke up.

He freshened up quickly, and found out that Alec had chosen to eat in the room itself. He was sitting in one of the armchairs, eating a bowl of pasta and watching infomercials.

"I'm going to dinner," he told Alec. Alec only nodded, not even looking in his direction.

Dinner was a quiet affair as well, the hall filled with the quiet clinks of cutlery against ceramic. It was mostly students from Magnus's college, though there were some from outside as well, like the family of three who were sitting at one end and mostly keeping to themselves. Magnus and Malcolm were presently in conversation with one Lucas D'Souza, who was telling them amusing anecdotes from his travels. Occasionally he caught a dirty glance coming his way from Aline, but that was all.

In the midst of another anecdote, Magnus noticed someone enter the room and looked up to greet them. For the second time in the day, Magnus froze.

He stared at the man who just entered. It was like looking at a ghost - he had the same blond hair, the same gait, and when his gaze moved up to catch Magnus's eyes, his eyes were the same green.

It was Woolsey's brother, Ralph Scott.

Magnus's breathing had gotten slightly laboured by the time he got back to the room.

He couldn't help but think about Ralph Scott. Why was he here? What was he doing here? Did he somehow find out that it was Alec who had killed Woolsey?

Magnus shoved those thoughts out of his mind. Ralph was probably here on vacation. He was overthinking everything.

Magnus rested his head against the door for a moment, trying to control his breathing. He did not want to go into another panic attack, not now.

He'd thought that being away from Alec would help him get better, had expected them to get better and then be gone. But they persisted, and only got more frequent and worse. Now when Magnus got in, he couldn't come out for atleast half an hour, and he hated it. He hated it all.

He opened the door and stepped inside. The lights were turned off, and no one was there.

Alec was gone.

It did not help his rising panic.

_ He looked at the woman in front of him. _

_ Her lips were open in a silent scream. Blood, stark red was flowing down her skin in rivulets. It contrasted wonderfully with her pale, pale skin. _

_ She looked beautiful. _

_ He smiled. _

Magnus was on his way to breakfast the next day when Malcolm Fade approached him.

"Morning, Magnus!" He greeted.

Magnus gave him a small smile. "Morning."

They walked side by side through the corridor, and then Malcolm asked, "Say, have you seen Annabel anywhere? My girlfriend? She was with me last night, but she wasn't in our room when I woke up. I searched the whole hotel but I can't find her."

Magnus frowned."Alec has been missing since last night, too," he mused. Alec wasn't there when he woke up in the morning, and hadn't arrived the whole time Magnus went through his morning routine.

Malcolm narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Do you think they're together?"

Magnus snorted at the thought. "Definitely not. Alec is gay."

Malcolm relaxed visibly. The subject was dropped, and they both made their way to the dining hall in silence.

After breakfast, which was filled with laughter and great food and more dirty looks from Aline Penhallow, Magnus dragged Raphael and his friends along to the resort's theater, where they spent the better part of the morning. They were late to lunch, and by the time Magnus was done with his food and showering the old waitress in praises for the food -she had been around since Magnus's first trip here- it was late in the afternoon.

Magnus whistled a low tune under his breath as he walked back to the room. He opened the door and froze at the threshold.

Alec was there, sprawled out in one of the armchairs, his legs carelessly thrown over one side, and he was fast asleep. Magnus couldn't help but stare, as if Alec was an illusion that would disappear if he looked too long.

He slowly approached Alec. The winter light streaming through the window fell on his face, adding a soft glow to his chiseled face. Alec's lips were slightly parted, and his messy hair was falling into his face. Magnus brushed the locks away from his face with a gentle hand. He looked so different in sleep, so vulnerable - not at all like the kind of person who would cut a person's throat without even batting an eyelash.

It was so disorienting.

Magnus carefully picked him up from the chair, supporting Alec's head against his arm. Alec hardly even stirred, and Magnus couldn't help but wonder where he was last night, whether he had gotten any sleep.

Magnus slowly turned away from the chair and laid him on the bed. He pulled the fluffy quilt over Alec's body and looked at his face again.

Sometimes, he wished they could go back to before the basement incident, when Alec's very presence comforted him. But it had all changed, because Alec was a  _ murderer,  _ and not just any murderer, but the one who had killed plenty of people who had been dating Magnus. Magnus simply couldn't choose to be with him after that - it wasn't fair, not to him, and definitely not for all his dead lovers. Besides, it wasn't like Alec was in love with Magnus - he was simply obsessed.

Magnus sighed, and turned to leave the room.

"Magnus!" 

Magnus turned around at the sound of his name and saw Elliott running towards him.

"Have you seen the manager?" he asked, panting.

Magnus slowly shook his head. "No. Why?"

Elliot's face was pale. "The police are here. They say they have to speak to the manager immediately."

"What?!"

Elliot waved him off. "I'll see you later, then."

Magnus had many questions, but before he could voice any of them, Elliot set off. Magnus turned and ran towards the entrance. Why would the police be here?

He stepped out of the hotel and found a ring of people outside. He elbowed his way in until he was in the middle, right beside Malcolm.

In front of them were two police officers, talking urgently on their walkie-talkies. At their feet was something large and humanistic, covered by a thin white sheet. Magnus sucked in a breath. He knew a dead body when he saw one.

_ Not again… _

"What's going on?"

A few people shifted to make way for the manager, a small round man with a sliver of a moustache. He looked squarely at the officers, his black suit only adding to his sense of authority.

One of the officers gestured towards the bundle on the ground. "This was found near the outskirts of town this morning. Our team has found evidence that led us to believe that this victim has been residing at your hotel. We were hoping you could help us identify her."

The manager nodded. "Show me."

The second officer bent down and uncovered the corpse in one swift move.

Malcolm screamed.

He stumbled, and Magnus grabbed his shoulders. He could understand how Malcolm felt at the moment - as if the world was crushing him, as if nothing would ever be right again. He was familiar with the feeling.

Lying on the ground, her skin marred by multiple incisions, her eyes wide and soulless, was Annabel Blackthorn.


	2. Part 2

Magnus stalked through the corridor, his head hot with anger.

Alec had been missing all night. So was Annabel. Annabel’s body was discovered around the same time as when Alec showed up at the hotel. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

He stormed into the room, only to find that Alec wasn’t inside. Magnus looked around and saw that the bathroom door was locked. He walked up to it and rapped on it in quick succession.

“Alec!” he yelled. “Alec, come out!”

Alec opened the door almost immediately. His face was damp, as if he had just washed it, and his face was devoid of any emotion except for mild surprise.

“How could you?!” Magnus said with no preamble. “Killing Annabel like that- how could you, Alec?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Alec’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What are you talking about?” he asked softly.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know,” Magnus snapped. “You think I can’t figure it out? You were out all night and today morning, and the police just arrived with Annabel’s dead body-“

“Annabel Blackthorn?!” Alec exclaimed. “But who-“

“Who else but you?!” Magnus shouted, and Alec flinched. Something flashed in his face, then, and almost immediately it turned blank as a wall again.

“You’re mistaken,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t me. Helen Blackthorn is my friend. I would never-“

“Oh, so you have friends now?” Magnus said sardonically, and realised he had gone too far. But Alec’s face was still blank enough to be unsettling.

Magnus softened and sighed. “I’m sorry, but, Alec, look, you know you can’t just go around murdering people like this - especially someone whom we both know-“

“But it wasn’t me.” His voice was blank, too.

Alec just stared at him, then turned his wide blue eyes away from Magnus.

Magnus wanted to reach out to him, suddenly, but he wouldn’t dare to. Despite everything, Alec was still a cold-blooded murderer, and nothing would change that.

Alec turned around and went back into the bathroom, the door shutting with a click behind him. Magnus stared after him for a moment, and then left the room.

Magnus had had some pretty bad Christmas eves, but this was turning out to the worst.

Alec gasped as soon as the door shut and leaned heavily against it.

_You really thought he’d believe you? He’ll never believe you again. He’ll never trust you._

_And it’s all your fault._

_Your fault…_

_Your fault…_

_It’s your fault he died._

His father’s voice suddenly appeared in his head, and Alec could remember his words as if he’d heard them yesterday.

_It’s all your fault!_

_I didn’t raise you to be a monster._

Alec’s lips twitched upwards into a cold smile. He’d become a monster anyway. He was everything his father didn’t want him to be, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

And then several other voices joined in.

_You’re the worst big brother ever!_

_How can anyone be fine, dating someone like you?!_

_You hurt everyone you touch._

Alec’s back hit the cold tiles and he slid to the ground. His hands went up to his hair, gripping the locks tightly.

_Who else but you?!_

_There’s something wrong with your son, Mrs. Lightwood._

_You’re a freak!_

His hands were shaking very badly.

He needed release.

Magnus was strolling through the hallways, having stayed with Malcolm all afternoon. Outside, the winter sun was setting, filling the hallways with vivid red and orange.

“Magnus!”

Magnus froze when he heard Aline’s furious voice behind him. He slowly turned around, and sure enough, she was stalking towards him with her hands on her hips.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” she demanded.

Magnus blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I know you and Alec have broken up,” she said. “And that being in the same room as your ex _can_ be awkward, but still! Couldn’t you have adjusted like a normal human being?! Why did you have to kick him out of the room?!”

Magnus’s eyes widened. “I did _not_ kick him out of the room!”

“Oh really?” Aline raised an eyebrow. “Then how come I found him roaming the corridors last night like a ghost?!”

“What were _you_ doing in the corridors last night?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” was all Aline said, with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I stayed with him for a couple of hours, of course. But this-“

“You were with him all night?” Magnus asked. The gears in his head were whirring urgently. If Alec was with Aline last night, then…

“Not _all_ night,” Aline mused, “but yes, we talked for a while about this and that for a few hours. I think it was around two in the morning by the time I went back. But-“ and here the characteristic dirty look she always gave Magnus showed up, “this better not happen again, okay? Build a wall of pillows between the two of you if you have to, but don’t kick him out again. He has every right to that room as you do.”

Magnus blinked again, and backed away.

He had got it all wrong.

Guilt coursed through him like poison in his veins. He had to find Alec immediately.

He needed to fix this.

Except when he got there, Alec wasn’t in the room. Even the bathroom was empty.

Magnus cursed under his breath and looked around for any possible clues that could explain where Alec could’ve possibly gone. There were none, but then he noticed that the window was unlocked. 

Magnus crept over to the window and opened it. The snow outside was marred by sunken footsteps. Magnus quickly threw on a jacket before climbing out the window and following Alec’s footsteps into the woods just outside the hotel.

He didn’t have to walk for long. He caught sight of Alec soon enough, sitting on the ground and leaning against a tree whose bark was marred with knife scars. Magnus slowly inched forward, and could hear Alec muttering under his breath.

“Alec,” he called out, but Alec didn’t seem to notice. “Alexander.”

Alec turned halfway towards him, his eyes wide and unfocused. Magnus reached out a hand to him, and he just stared, as if he wasn’t seeing the hand right in front of him.

“Hey,” Magnus said, and crouched down in front of Alec, meeting his eyes. “Alexander. Let’s go back.”

Alec shook his head. “It wasn’t me,” he muttered.

“I know.” Magnus moved closer, curving a hand around Alec’s neck and pulling him close. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t me,” Alec muttered, as if he couldn’t quite hear Magnus. Magnus wondered just how deep Alec’s mind had gone. “ _Max…”_

“No,” Magnus agreed, wondering who Max was. “It wasn’t you.” He gently stroked Alec’s hair, with one hand, holding him close with the other. Normally, he would’ve thought twice about being so close with Alec, but this was the need of the hour.

“Let’s go back, shall we?”

Alec nodded slowly, and Magnus got to his feet, pulling Alec up with him.

They walked back to the hotel in silence, their hands loosely curled around each other. 

Once they got back to the room, Magnus made Alec sit down on the bed and then ordered room service for the two of them.

"It's Christmas Eve," Alec said when Magnus set the phone down. "Don't you want to eat at the dining hall with everyone else?"

Magnus shrugged. "After what happened today, I doubt anyone would be in a festive mood.

Alec nodded slowly. The room service arrived soon, and they ate in silence, the sounds of cutlery clankling against ceramic and the low din of the television the only sounds in the room.

After dinner, Magnus stood up and stretched, and then asked Alec, "Which side of the bed?"

Alec blinked. "What?"

After he had recovered from his meltdown, Alec had gone back to his marble face. He goggled at Magnus now with that blank expression.

"Since you're sleeping here," Magnus said patiently. "Which side of the bed do you want?"

Alec shook his head, "No, it's fine, we don't have to do this."

Magnus frowned at him. "Oh, shut up. You're sleeping here, in the bed, and that's final. People are complaining to me that you're roaming the corridors like an unsolicited ghost. It's _so_ embarrassing. Which is why you're sleeping in the bed for the rest of the trip, and if I have to tie you up to make it happen, so be it. The same as before, then? You take the left, I'll be on the right?"

Magnus realized that he'd just referred to their past relationship without thinking about it, but Alec didn't seem to notice.

"Okay," he said.

Magnus smiled and grabbed two pillows, placing them in the center of the bed.

"It would be awkward if you woke up in the morning with me all over you," he explained to Alec’ and went over to the right side, pulling off his rings and leaving them on the nightstand. He looked at Alec, who was standing by the door awkwardly, as if he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

"Go on, make yourself comfortable," Magnus urged, jerking his head towards Alec's side of the bed.

Soon enough, the lights were turned off, and both Magnus and Alec were in bed, each with their own blanket, a wall of pillows between them. Magnus lay awake for a long time, listening to Alec's breathing next to him, and thinking - about himself, about Alec, about himself and Alec together, and about Annabel, until the thoughts mixed and churned until they made no sense and Magnus was finally asleep.

"Let go of me!" Raphael hissed as he tried to wriggle out of Magnus's grip.

"Nope," Magnus said. "No way. It's Christmas, Raphael. Everyone needs a hug on Christmas."

The long dining table was decked to its fullest with staple Christmassy food, including a lot of plum cake. The sun was still peaking over the horizon outside, having not risen fully.

Magnus had already hugged everyone he knew who had come to breakfast - though Aline Penhallow had seemed a little hesitant at first. Raphael, on the other hand, was proving to be extremely recalcitrant.

Magnus let go of him, and he ran to the opposite side of the room, much to Lily's amusement. She and Elliot both seemed to enjoy the display.

The door opened again, and Magnus turned around to greet the new person-

And froze.

Alec was standing in the doorway, staring at Magnus. Magnus stared back.

"Alec," he said. "What are you doing here?"

Alec shifted from foot to foot, seemingly nervous, but it didn't show on his face. His eyes flickered from Magnus to the other occupants of the room.

"Nothing," he said quietly. "I'm going."

Alec turned and left, leaving the door open. Magnus could feel Aline's eyes boring into him.

He ran out the door, after Alec.

"Alec!" he called out. "Alec, wait!"

Alec stopped abruptly and turned around. Magnus almost crashed into him, but managed to steady himself, and threw his arms around Alec.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, a term of endearment stopping at the tip of his tongue - _love, darling, baby._

Alec was silent a moment, and then he said, "Merry Christmas to you, too."

Magnus smiled and pulled away. "Let's go to eat breakfast, shall we?"

Alec nodded, and then they set off for the dining hall together.

Magnus tried not to think too much about that hug. He was the one who ended their relationship. He wasn't supposed to be wanting Alec. And he definitely wasn't supposed to be bothered by the fact that Alec was sitting a good distance away from him.

It was absurd, really.

He was concerned about Alec, cared for him, but there was a fine line between caring and wanting, and he was toeing it. He should stop. After all, even if he did want Alec, Alec would never want him back in the same way.

The dining hall soon filled up, nearly all the seats occupied. Alec was sitting a good distance away from Magnus, and somewhere, somehow, it stung a little. It shouldn't have. It was all for the best.

Still, he couldn't help but notice when people's stares went Alec's way. A lot of people were talking about the murder, but a few, like Lucas D'Souza and Ralph Scott seemed more interested in the newcomer.

"Who's that?" Lucas leaned over and asked Magnus, his voice strangely curious.

"Oh, that," Magnus said slowly, realising that Lucas was talking about Alec. "That's Alec Lightwood. He's from my college."

Lucas nodded, and then that matter was dropped.

A sudden hush fell across the hall suddenly, the way it did among crowds, sometimes, as if someone had dropped at blanket over a place and then removed it just as quickly.

This particular silence was broken when Helen Blackthorn said in a low voice, " _Ave Atque Vale,_ Annabel Blackthorn."

Ralph looked at her. "What does that mean?"

"It means 'Hail and Farewell'." It was Alec who spoke, and he squirmed when everyone turned to look at him. "It's Latin."

Everyone turned back to whatever it was they were doing, and Alec just continued eating, as if Magnus wasn't boring holes into him with his eyes, as if he didn't want to meet Magnus's eyes at all.

It was as if Magnus didn't even exist to him.

Alec sat at the edge of the bed, nervous as the dial tone echoed through the phone.

He had no idea why he had suddenly decided to call his siblings after avoiding them for the past two months. His parents were another story entirely - he had been avoiding them for the past two years, ever since he moved out.

The tone ended abruptly, and then Isabelle’s voice rang out through the phone.

“Hello?”

“Izzy,” Alec breathed out. “It’s me.”

There was a silence, and then, 

“Alec?”

Alec nodded, and then realised that she couldn’t see him. “Yes.”

“Oh God, Alec!” Isabelle almost yelled. “What is wrong with you, how could you just abandon us like that?! Me and Jace?!”

“You tried to sell me out, Izzy,” Alec said quietly.

“So what’s this?” Isabelle snapped. “Why are you suddenly calling me now?!”

Max’s voice rang through his head again. _You’re the worst big brother ever._

Alec was silent for a few moments, and then said, looking out the window where snowflakes slowly cascaded to the ground, “It’s Christmas. And Iz, I’m sorry, I really am, but I just-“ Alec stopped and shook his head abruptly. He wasn’t saying this right. “I’m sorry.”

Isabelle huffed. “Okay, whatever.”

Alec chewed on his lip as he waited for Isabelle to say anything else.

“Merry Christmas to you too, I suppose.”

Alec’s lips quirked up into a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Jace is kind of mad at you, you know,” Isabelle mused. “He thinks you abandoned him, since you haven’t spoken to him once and decided to go on that skiing trip instead of staying with us.”

“I needed a break,” was all Alec said. “Besides, it wasn’t really my choice. Aline dragged me here.”

Alec was kind of glad she did. After hearing about the murder, Alec was worried. The murderer could possibly target Magnus. Alec was glad that he was around to keep Magnus safe, to make sure no harm would come to him.

“By the way,” Alec asked, “could you give the phone to Jace?”

Isabelle laughed. “Good luck. He’s definitely going to kill you.”

Magnus brushed the snow out of his hair, only half paying attention to Raphael whining beside him.

“-can’t believe you dragged me out for _that,”_ he was grumbling.

“Come on, Raphael,” Magnus said patronisingly. “I know you enjoyed that.”

Raphael glared at him. “No one enjoys being hurled down a cliff on top of a fancy wooden plank, Bane.”

“I enjoyed that,” Lily piped up. “Snowboarding was nice. I just wish we could go ice-skating sometime…”

“That’s because you love flirting with just about everyone, and that apparently includes death,” Raphael countered.

“I’d love to go ice-skating too,” Magnus said, ignoring Raphael and tucking his gloves into his pocket, “but you heard what that guy said. The ice is too thin. So unless you want to turn into an ice popsicle-“

Lily laughed, and Raphael growled, and then Magnus stopped short right in front of the entrance to the dining hall. Raphael and Lily walked past him, but his eyes were on the figure walking towards him.

Alec was looking at the ground, his shoulders hunched as he walked, and he looked completely ethereal.

Magnus stood there, transfixed, as Alec walked towards him. He had practically been a ghost the past couple of months, and Magnus still hadn’t gotten used to _seeing_ him, hadn’t realised until now just how much he missed even looking at Alec.

Alec stopped right in front of him and looked up, his eyes wide and blank and blue. Magnus wanted nothing more in that moment to just hold Alec close and ask him, _How was your day, darling?_

Clearly, he needed to put a rein on his thoughts.

They just stared at each other, and then Magnus heard someone cough from inside. Magnus turned halfway towards them and saw Lily, grinning widely, point upwards and mouth _Look up._

Magnus’s eyes flickered upwards and he saw, hanging from the door frame, a branch of mistletoe.

Alec noticed it too, and Magnus heard his breath catch.

“You don’t exactly have a choice, you know?” Lily said. Magnus didn’t look at her.

He and Alec stared at each other for a few more beats, and then Alec's eyes fell to the ground.

“There’s no need,” Alec said, and went inside. Magnus hung back for a second, wondering what exactly had just passed between the two of them, and followed Alec.

"My eyes are hazel," Magnus said, "I have a cat named Chairman Meow, and I got banned from Peru."

He was in the lounge along with Aline, Helen, Alec and a few others, having decided to play 'Two Truths And A Lie' for a little while. Alec was sitting in a corner, rarely participating in the game. Aline, thankfully, wasn't giving him stink-eyes at the moment.

"Oh, that's easy," Helen piped up. "The third one."

"His eyes are chartreuse," said Alec, not looking up from his phone.

There were exclaims of disbelief all around - after all, one didn't just get banned from an entire country - but Magnus could only think of what Alec had just said. He remembered Alec, sitting beside him in the university garden, what seemed like ages ago, telling him - _My favourite colour is chartreuse._

"You seriously got _banned_ from Peru?!"

Magnus opened his mouth to answer that question when Lucas stood up and asked all around, "I'm going to get drinks. Anyone want one?"

No one really wanted a drink after the hefty Christmas dinner, but Magnus was always open to one, and raised his hand. Lucas shot him finger guns as he went to the drink-laden table on the other side of the room, and Magnus grinned.

"And to answer your question," Magnus told everyone else, "Yes, I did get banned from Peru. It's a very long story, and I don't really want to talk about it, soo…" Magnus trailed off as he realised that Alec was staring at Lucas, his eyes following the man's every movement. He hoped Alec didn't think there was something between Lucas and him. That could get very awkward very fast.

A month or so ago, Magnus had entertained a young man who had chatted him up. It was nothing, just casual flirting, but Magnus had felt a strange sense of Deja Vu and dread overcome him when he saw the man's face plastered all over 'MISSING' posters a few days later. He'd never gone to a bar after that.

Presently Lucas returned with two drinks in his hand, and offered one to Magnus. Magnus thanked him and was about to take the glass when Alec shrieked,

"Wait!"

Alec's hand shot out, hitting the glass, and it fell to the ground, smashing spectacularly. Magnus heard Aline gasp, and looked down at the mess of glass shards and liquid spilled on the ground.

He turned to Alec, annoyance swelling up within him, and snapped, "What the hell, Alec?!"

Alec's eyes were slightly wide, but he betrayed no other emotion.

"I'm sorry," was all he said.

Magnus just shook his head and bent over, reaching for the glass shards.

"Wait, let me-" Alec said, crouching down near the mess.

"Stay back," Magnus said, glaring at him. "You've already done enough."

Alec stared at him a moment and then slowly backed away. Magnus carefully brushed the shards under the couch, taking care that he wouldn't cut himself.

The tension in the room was too high after that. Lucas offered to get him another drink, but Magnus declined, feeling too annoyed to drink. Instead, he stood up and announced, 

"I'm going to bed." He turned to Alec and said with mild indifference, "Come on, let's go."

Alec couldn't sleep that night.

He tossed and turned - there was no way he could sleep with Magnus so close to him, and yet so far.

At some point in the night, he propped his head up on the pillows Magnus had placed between them, to ensure that they wouldn't get entangled together in sleep. Magnus was fast asleep, his hair splayed across the pillow like black ink. His chest was rising and falling, and Alec could only hope that it would stay that way by the time they left this hotel.

He was paranoid, and too much for his own good. That was why he'd knocked down that drink earlier - he didn't trust Lucas. He didn't trust anyone in his hotel, except for Magnus, and Aline. He had a little faith in Helen, but only because she was someone Aline trusted, and Raphael, because Magnus trusted him.

There were still nearly eight days before this trip ended and they could go back to New York, which was familiar territory. This resort was something new entirely.

But Alec would adapt. He always did.

His eyes slid down to Magnus's lips, which were slightly parted. He thought of the moment earlier, when they were under the mistletoe. What _was_ that? Was Magnus- was Magnus going to kiss him?

Alec shook his head. It was all just wishful thinking. Or maybe...

He looked at Magnus again, and wondered how he was able to sleep so peacefully when Alec couldn't.

 _Of course,_ he thought bitterly. _He's not as obsessed with me as I am with him._

He slid back, away from the wall of pillows and onto his back, and stared at the ceiling, until he lost all sense of time and finally fell asleep.

_There's still time._

_I'm not done yet. I'll get you. I'll get my hands on you and then…_

_We'll have so much fun together._

_Just you and I._

_There's a lot of other people, of course. Annabel Blackthorn was a good companion. And her boyfriend will make one, too._

_But you?_

_You're the trophy at the end of this game. You're my first prize._

_And I will have you._


	3. Part 3

The snow under Magnus's boots crunched as he walked.

He'd been to the town near the resort many times before, of course, but it had never been so awkward.

This morning, Lily and Elliot had invited him to go with them, and Magnus had agreed. Except later he found out that they were also being accompanied by Helen and Aline, and Aline had obviously roped Alec in.

And now, Helen and Aline had run off in an impromptu date, and Lily and Elliot had run off to God-knows-where. Which meant he was all alone with Alec.

Magnus stopped and turned around. Alec was walking a few feet behind him, his hands in his pockets and eyes downcast. Atleast, they were when Magnus looked at him. He could've sworn he felt Alec's eyes on him when he walked.

Alec stopped a little in front of Magnus and looked up at him. "What?"

Magnus shook his head. "Nothing."

He had no idea what he was doing. He had practically been roaming for the better part of half an hour. He was about to turn back and continue doing the same when he heard a voice call out,

"Hey, Magnus!"

The voice was instantly familiar. Magnus turned to see Shinyun Jung coming towards him, waving. Her boyfriend was trailing behind her.

"Shinyun," Magnus said, and forced himself to smile. He was very aware of Alec's presence behind him.

"Fancy seeing you here," Shinyun said, coming to a stop. "What's up?"

Magnus shrugged. "I usually come here during the winter holidays. I'm staying at a resort up the hill."

"Oh," Shinyun said. "Me and Yoosung are in an inn nearby. This place is lovely, isn't it?"

Magnus nodded, smiling faintly. “It is.”

Shinyun noticed Alec standing behind him right then, and said, “Oh, hey. Alec, right? Magnus’s boyfriend?”

Magnus stiffened. He avoided everyone’s gazes, looking at the ground instead.

“Um,” Alec said. “I need to go.”

Alec walked away abruptly, the snow under his feet crunching loudly as he did. Magnus looked up at Shinyun, who appeared to be puzzled.

“We broke up,” he explained.

“Oh,” Shinyun said, surprised. “Sorry, I had no idea.”

Magnus shrugged. “It’s fine.”

They spent a while talking to each other, catching up. When Magnus noticed that Yoosung appeared to be very bored, he quickly said his goodbyes to Shinyun and left.

Now he was completely alone.

Magnus wondered where Alec had gone to. He wished Alec hadn’t left at all. Some company was better than no company.

He was just wondering where to go when a voice behind his shoulder said,

“Magnus Bane, right?”

Magnus jumped, and swiveled around, coming face to face with a shady looking guy. He had long hair that framed his face in matted locks. A tattoo in the shape of a leaf decorated his left cheek, and his eyes were red. He was probably on drugs.

Magnus blinked at him. “Yes.”

The guy nodded. “Come with me.”

He turned around and started walking. Magnus did not follow him.

The guy stopped and turned to look at him. “Come.”

Magnus shook his head and stood his ground. “For all I know, you could be a murderer. So, no.”

The guy laughed. “I swear I’m not going to murder you. You’re going to regret not coming with me. You’ll see.”

Magnus shrugged, went  _ Fuck it,  _ and decided to follow this mysterious guy.

They ducked into a narrow alley between two buildings, and kept walking through the twisting maze of alleyways for atleast twenty minutes before they reached a ramshackle building.

"Come in," the mysterious guy said to him before disappearing through a door. Magnus looked at the door, then looked at the building itself.

_ This is a bad idea,  _ said a voice in his head.

The guy turned towards him and said, "You coming or no?"

Magnus gave him a half-shrug and backed away. "I think I'm good."

He turned away and was about to leave when the guy grabbed the back of his shirt.

"I don't think so," he whispered dangerously, and dragged Magnus into the building. Magnus yelped and struggled, but this man was stronger than he looked and soon, Magnus found himself in a large room full of people, and multiple tables. The tables had all sorts of powders and pills, syringes and smoking equipment.

It appeared to be a drug den.

Magnus was roughly shoved onto a couch that might have been maroon once, but was now an ugly dark shade of puce.

"Magnus Bane," said a voice from one side of the room. Magnus looked and saw, at the end of the room, behind a table, a redheaded woman with a smoking pipe in her hand. "I've heard a lot about you."

Magnus scowled at her. "Why did you bring me here?"

The woman laughed. It was a laugh that was silky and grating, both at once. "It wasn't _ I  _ who brought you here. That was Meliorn. Of course, it was because I asked that he brought you here."

The woman's eyes glinted dangerously. "I've heard a lot about you. You poor thing."

"Shut up," Magnus snapped. The last thing he wanted was anyone's pity.

"See, I just want to help you," the woman carried on, as if she hadn't heard him. "Having so many of your lovers die… It is taxing, indeed. Have you ever wanted to forget it all? Just take a step back from your life and relax?"

Magnus's scowl deepened. "No, I haven't."

The woman raised her eyebrow. "Well, just consider it, then. It's not all different from alcohol, you know? Except it's better. It'll help you forget. Trust me."

Magnus's heart was beating fast. He wondered where Alec was.

"I'm sorry," he said firmly. "But I'm not interested. I have no interest in getting addicted to drugs."

The woman's eyes flashed dangerously.

"You misunderstand me. Perhaps Meliorn can give you a proper trial."

Alec walked away from where Magnus was talking to his friend Shinyun and ducked into an alley. 

Leaning against the brick wall, he sighed and pulled out his phone. He had only just sent a few texts to someone when a rustling sound came from the other end of the alleyway.

Alec's head jerked up. He stared at the end of the alley, but all was still. Maybe he had just imagined it.

Just in case, though, he slowly moved towards the piles of black plastic bags filled with garbage, not getting too close to them. He stared intently at the piles, but couldn't make out anything.

He shrugged it off and got out of the alley, looking at the spot where he had left Magnus. He wasn't there.

Panic rose up within Alec, but he quickly shut it down. He walked out onto the road, which was mostly empty but for a few stragglers. They all seemed to be in a festive mood, even though Christmas was already over.

Alec frowned down at his boots. The sunlight wasn't very bright, so he couldn't make out any shadows on the ground. However, the sound his boots were making, crunching against the snow, were slightly different from the sounds they made when he entered the town. He couldn't see why, unless...

He stopped abruptly. The sounds stopped a second after he did.

Alec whirled around, and saw a dark shape disappearing between two buildings. He ran after it, only to be met with an empty alleyway.

Alec stared at the darkness for a moment, then backed away from it and ran.

He needed to get to Magnus as soon as possible.

They had tried forcing Magnus to snort the drugs and even to ingest them, but Magnus had firmly closed his lips and was holding his breath for as long as possible, so their attempts were failing.

The redheaded woman - who was referred to as 'Queen' by everyone else in the room, God bless their high souls - grumbled and scrambled on top of Magnus's table, glaring down at him.

"Clearly," she said, her voice clipped. "I have to do everything myself."

The Queen took some powder and smeared it, to Magnus's shock and surprise, on her lips. He realized what she was about to do, and turned his head to the side.

"Come on," the Queen murmured, grabbing Magnus's face and attempting to twist it towards her. "Just one small peck-"

Magnus let out a muffled scream. Then there was the sound of crashing glass, and the Queen screamed, and then everything was in stunned silence.

Magnus slowly turned towards her. She was lying sideways on the table, her mouth and eyes wide open. Blood pooled up all around her, mixing with the drugs and dripping to the ground.

Magnus slowly raised his eyes and saw Alec, his boots precariously balanced on the broken glass, his hand outstretched and his face dangerously blank. He looked like an Angel delivering justice.

A few idiots charged at him. Alec leaped down, landing lightly on top of the wooden floorboards and broken glass. He seized up one large shard of glass and sliced one man's throat with, and then buried it in the neck of another.

But Magnus's hands had already started shaking when he had entered the room. Now he felt as if he was watching the whole scene from a window of glass, which slowly hardened and frostened until there was nothing left but white.

And then through the white came warmth, solid warmth in the form of Alec's body wrapping around him, and Magnus gasped.

"Magnus," Alec was saying. "Magnus,  _ breathe." _

Magnus inhaled deeply through his mouth, blinking the whiteness away, and then something yanked Alec away from him.

Not something, but  _ someone. _

It was one of the addicts, holding Alec in a headlock. Alec grabbed his arm, trying to wrench it away from him, but the guy was fast and jabbed a needle into Alec's neck.

"No!" Magnus cried out, but the guy had already pushed the piston with a toothy grin towards Magnus. Alec gasped.

Then he caught hold of the guys shirt and flipped him over onto a table so hard it crashed to the ground, sending up plumes of white powder. Magnus turned his head to the side, trying not to inhale too deeply. He still felt a little disconnected. His panic attack hadn't completely faded away yet.

Alec blinked down at the guy, surprised, and then he laughed. It was a cold, cold laugh, and as the light hit Alec's eyes, Magnus could see that the blue of his eyes had almost been swallowed up by the black of his pupils.

"You," Alec said gleefully, wiping some blood off his cheek with the back of his hand. "Have made a  _ big mistake." _

"You fool!" yelled someone from somewhere to the side. "What have you done?!"

"I thought that was smack," the guy mumbled weakly, clearly half unconscious. Or maybe half dead.

"That was  _ crack,  _ you idiot!"

The guy's widened in dismay. Alec laughed even harder.

"Doesn't matter," growled another. "I've had more crack than he ever did."

He charged at Alec, who thrust his knife into the man's chest and pulled it out, quick as a flash, without even stopping his laughter. The man dropped to the ground, dead.

Alec's laughs receded slowly, and he looked down at the guy lying at his feet, who was looking up at Alec with pleading eyes. Behind Alec, the other addicts scrambled to escape through the nearest exit.

Alec let them go, hefting his knife in one hand. He brought it down.

The guy struggled for a few minutes, and then he was gone.

The room was silent as death, broken only by Magnus's ragged breathing. Alec came over to him, wrapping his arms around Magnus and holding him close.

Magnus had expected his panic attacks to leave completely when he broke up with Alec, but it had the complete opposite effect. The attacks only grew in duration and frequency. Sometimes he'd have them continuously for a few days, and then they'd go, and when Magnus thought they were gone forever, they only came back in full force, each lasting for as long as half an hour.

But now, Alec's warmth, the pressure of his hands seemed to comfort him in a way nothing else could. It was inexplicable.

"What's the color of an apple?" Alec asked him quietly.

Magnus paused, and then said, "Red."

"And an orange- no, a pineapple?"

"Yellow."

Alec pulled away from the hug and asked Magnus, "Are you okay?"

Magnus blinked, a little disoriented, and said, "Yes."

"Come on," Alec murmured, pulling Magnus to his feet. He couldn't help but notice that Alec's hands were covered in blood, like a pair of lacy gloves. "Let's go back to the resort."

They had taken a back route and were halfway between the resort and the town, trudging through the snow because it could be too dangerous for anyone to see Alec like this. Alec kept glancing around as if he expected someone to pop up from the sparse mass of trees and attack them.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked when Alec looked around from the umpteenth time. He noticed that Alec’s hands were shaking. Then he saw the blood, remembered Alec gleefully thrusting his knife into Meliorn, and shuddered.

“I’m fine,” Alec said, and turned back to the route. He looked a little dazed. He was probably still high on crack.

Following a murderer on crack was a decisively bad idea, but this was Alec, and Magnus didn’t really have a choice.

They went forward a few more meters when Alec froze suddenly.

Magnus came up beside him and asked him, “Alec, what’s wrong?”

But Alec seemed to be faraway. He kept looking down at his bloodstained hands, and forward at the snow, and then finally he whispered, “ _ No.” _

Magnus blinked. “What?”

Alec slowly shook his head, his eyes fixated on some point in front of him. “No, Magnus-“

“No, what?” Magnus asked.

Alec’s lips trembled and he surged forward, dropping to the ground. “ _ NO!” _

Magnus’s lips parted, and he cursed under his breath. He vaguely remembered something about too much cocaine causing hallucinations. And it  _ was  _ a very big syringe that that guy had used.

“Alec!” Magnus exclaimed, dropping down beside him and shaking him. “Alec, snap out of it!”

Tears were now streaming down Alec’s face. His hands moved as if he was cradling an invisible body, which, Magnus realised, was exactly what was happening.

“Magnus, my Magnus,” Alec was saying, his voice shaking. “I’m  _ so sorry.” _

Magnus put a hand on his shoulder. “Alec, I’m right here.”

But Alec didn’t even seem to listen to him. He shook his head and whispered, his voice filled with regret and choking on the words, “What have I done?”

“Alec-“ Magnus got up and tried to pull him away, but Alec screamed and remained rooted to the spot.

“Alec, it’s not real!” He yelled, grabbing Alec’s arms and pulling him away. Alec kicked and screamed, staring at that spot. Magnus succeeded in dragging him away for maybe a few seconds before wrenching himself out of Magnus’s grip and flinging himself at Magnus’s imaginary corpse.

Magnus sighed. Watching Alec cry over his dead body, which again wasn’t even there, was extremely absurd, and even a little heartbreaking. Magnus looked at Alec, his body bent over, his hands positioned as if he was holding something - or someone - close, and he was crying like he was broken.

Magnus looked around. Alec clearly wasn’t going to listen to reason, and it was incredibly difficult for him to drag Alec away.

His eyes fell on a branch lying under a tree. Magnus went over it and picked it up, slowly making his way towards Alec. The sounds of wood being dragged against snow were covered up by Alec’s sobs.

Magnus looked down at Alec’s hunched over form and whispered, mostly to himself, “Alexander, I am so sorry.”

He swung the branch at Alec’s head.

He didn't  _ kill  _ Alec, obviously. The blow was just enough to knock him out, and Magnus was forced to carry him the rest of the way.

He laid Alec on top of a towel spread on the bed. He cleaned off the blood as much as could, though he didn't take off Alec's clothes. Alec could definitely take a shower afterwards, when he woke up.

Later that night, after an uneventful evening, Magnus was fast asleep when he stirred and woke, partly because of cold air brushing against his skin, and partly because of a strange weight on top of him.

Magnus opened his eyes and was startled to complete wakefulness when a pair of lips crashed on his.

"Mmph!" said Magnus.

"Magnus," murmured Alec against his lips. “My Magnus, I thought I lost you.”

Magnus was at a loss for words. There was only one possible explanation for this - that Alec was still high, and he thought he and Magnus were still dating. Magnus frowned a little. How long did the effects of cocaine last again?

Before he could dwell on that thought for long, however, Alec’s lips slid sinuously against his, banishing all thoughts from his mind. Magnus inhaled sharply.

“I thought I’d killed you,” Alec whispered, moving to kiss the dip right below Magnus’s ear, where his jaw met his neck. “But I’d never hurt you. You know that, right?”

He could think of several examples to disprove that, but not at this moment, not when Alec was straddling him and kissing down his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, his voice ragged and sharp, breaking the stillness of the night air.

“I’m here,” Alec whispered, nuzzling his face into the crook of Alec’s neck. “I’ll always be here.”

He stretched his body across Magnus’s, lying on top of him like a cat, and was still and silent. Magnus waited several beats before he said, “Alec?”

Alec didn’t respond. Magnus felt him exhale, his breathing slow against Magnus’s skin, and shuddered. Clearly, he had fallen asleep. Magnus tried to wriggle out of Alec’s arms, which were around him, but his grip was too tight.

In the end, Magnus simply gave up, and tried to sleep. But it didn’t come for a long, long time.

He remembered one day, last year, when he was in a daze the whole day, because he was thinking about Alec, thinking about what it would be like, to kiss him.

This was like that, but much worse.

Magnus looked at Alec again, and felt a pang resonate through his chest. He couldn’t help but think of when they were together, how nice it was to be with him.

After what seemed like forever of lying awake in the darkness, Magnus gave in and wrapped one arm around Alec, and finally fell asleep.

He didn’t get to feel Alec’s smile spread into his neck.

Alec had left by the time Magnus woke up.

He sat up, feeling groggy, and ran a hand through his hair. Magnus could hear the shower running in the bathroom. He slipped his feet into his fuzzy slippers and went over to the window, stretching his arms above his head.

He paused, looking out the window. In the distance, where the woods began, he could see something lightly swaying in the wind. He squinted at it, and his voice froze in his throat when he realised what it was. A body hung from a tree with a rope, clearly dead. Even from this distance, he could recognise the shock of white hair and the person’s lean figure.

If he still had his voice, he would’ve screamed.

It was Malcolm Fade.

“I can’t believe there’s been another,” said Helen.

The mood in the lounge was sober that day. Magnus sat beside Raphael, who seemed disinterested in what was happening, though Magnus knew he was still paying attention. There weren’t many people in the room, or even in the hotel. Most had packed up and left after the first murder.

“Yeah, I highly doubt that guy would’ve stopped with one,” Lily said sarcastically. “This is murder we’re talking about. In no movie has a murderer stopped with just one. They could try to attack again.”

“Maybe not?” Aline suggested quietly. Her hands were shaking very badly, and Helen was holding them tight, trying to steady her. “I mean, Annabel and Malcolm were both dating. Maybe they had it out for the two of them?”

“Unlikely,” said a voice from the corner. Everyone swiveled around and saw Ralph, leaning against the wall in the corner. “I’ve been studying serial killers closely ever since my brother was killed by one, and this is clearly the work of one.”

Alec’s eyes flickered up towards him at those words.

Raphael raised an eyebrow at him. “Wasn’t your brother killed in an accident? How can you say that it is a murder?”

Ralph’s eyes fell directly on Magnus, who swallowed when Ralph’s eyes met his.

“I have my reasons for believing so,” he said.

They were quiet for a few more moments, during which Magnus thought of Malcolm. He had alerted the staff immediately, and watched while they took the body down.

Like Annabel's, his body was covered in multiple incisions, dry crusty blood covering his skin. He was also stripped down to only his boxers, which were soaked red with blood.

He should’ve realised earlier that Alec wasn’t the murderer. Alec had a completely different style of killing - he either made it look like a suicide or accident, or stabbed his victims to death. His kills were quick as far as Magnus knew. But Malcolm’s body was full of smaller cuts slashing across his veins - as if the killer wanted to watch him  _ bleed. _

“Enough of all the morbidness.” Lucas stood up and clapped his hands together. “Let’s go out for a walk. I’ve heard that the lake looks beautiful this time of the year.”

Ralph glared at him, but Lucas didn’t seem to notice.

“Okay,” Aline stood and stretched, turning to look at her girlfriend. “You wanna go, babe?”

Helen nodded and stood up, taking Aline’s hand. Raphael grumbled something about walking in the snow being a terrible idea. Lily and Ralph were both clearly unkeen on going.

“What about you, Magnus?” Lucas asked, looking in his direction. Magnus blinked, a little thrown off at being addressed directly.

“Sure,” he said and shrugged. Doing something was better than just sitting around.

“I’ll come too,” Alec said immediately. Something seemed to pull at Magnus’s heart sharply, and he averted his gaze away from Alec.

“Let’s go!” Lucas said cheerfully, and paraded out of the room, the quartet that was Magnus, Alec, Helen and Aline following him.

The lake was  _ not  _ beautiful.

They were walking at the edge of a cliff, which dropped down towards the lake below. The pale white light from the sun fell on the lake, it’s frozen surface faintly gleaming. Magnus looked down at the lake with a sense of foreboding churning in his stomach.

Lucas had stopped a few moments ago to take a call, and his voice was fading away as Magnus moved forward. In front of him, Aline was talking to Alec and Helen about something, her voice light but expressions serious. The wind carried her tone to Magnus but not the individual words. Maybe she was gossiping about Magnus. She did seem to dislike him.

Magnus sighed. His eyes were fixed on Alec, who was listening to Aline intently with a small smile on his face. That smile was now busy chopping Magnus’s heart into tiny pieces and casting them over the cliff into the lake.

Alec seemed to be fine around everyone except Magnus. He had clearly closed himself off to Magnus.

Alec was closed off from everyone in the same way he was with Magnus before the night in the basement. But those walls were carefully constructed after years, like an assemblage of wood and nails. But the walls he had around Magnus now were different - as if they had been roughly hewn from stone, thrown up too fast and haphazardly, but enough to keep Magnus out.

Magnus wanted to forget the past. Magnus wanted Alec to forget the past, forget Magnus. He didn’t understand why he wanted to be so close to Alec. He missed Alec’s warmth beside him at nights, badly, but for now it would be enough if they were friends, if Alec was normal around him and smiled the way he smiled around all his friends.

Before he could dwell on those thoughts too long, however, two hand shot out from behind, grabbing him. One hand, clad in a black woolen glove, covered his mouth, preventing him from screaming. Magnus tried anyway, tried screaming and kicking at the snow to get the attention of the three in front of him but they didn’t seem to notice.

He could’ve cried for all the fear he felt in that moment. His hands, trying to wrench the man’s - which he now realised was the killer’s - hand away from him, had started shaking badly. He was slipping into another attack, even as the killer dragged him towards the edge until Magnus’s feet touched air instead of solid rock.

The killer threw him over the edge.

Magnus twisted around in mid air, and saw the killer’s face under his cloak, smirking coldly at Magnus.

He opened his mouth to scream, but before he could do so he reached the lake below, crashing through the ice.

The pain hit him first, cutting through him like hundreds of shards of glass. Then the cold enveloped him like a blanket, and it was all he could do to stay alive.

Magnus’s flailing limbs slowly stilled as he sank lower and lower. He wanted to reach out, wanted to get out of here. He needed to tell Alec who the killer was.

His lungs were burning as all the air left them. His eyes slipped shut.

Above him, another body broke the water.


	4. Part 4

Alec managed to catch Magnus by the front of his shirt just in time.

He looked around, searching for an escape. He couldn't go up - the ice was thin, who knew if it would break again? Not to mention that the cliff was too steep and swimming to any other shore would take too much time. Alec spotted what appeared to be the mouth of an underwater cave. Hopefully there was a way outside, or atleast a chamber with air inside that cave.

He bunched up Magnus in his arms and swam for the cave, kicking his legs against the current. Soon, he entered the cave, which headed upwards. Alec swam up, higher and higher, trying to go as fast as possible. His vision was starting to blur.

Alec broke the surface of the water and gasped for air. They were still inside the cave, the walls above the water covered in bioluminescent moss glowing blue. Alec flailed one arm out, the other curved around Magnus, and found a stop ledge.

He dragged himself and Magnus out of the water, and sat on the ground with Magnus in his arms. Alec's teeth were clattering - the water had been freezing cold.

His heart beating fast in his chest, Alec pressed a shaky hand to Magnus's neck, and sighed in relief when he felt a faint pulse. Magnus was alive.

But he had also almost drowned. Alec carefully shifted Magnus so that he was laying in Alec's lap, and pressed both his hands over Magnus's stomach and chest, hard. Magnus didn't stir.

Alec closed his eyes for a moment, knowing he had no other option. Then he bent over and put his mouth over Magnus's.

Alec wrenched open Magnus's lips with his own and tried to force some air into his lungs, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. He could only hope this would work. He couldn't lose Magnus. He  _ couldn't. _

A few minutes later, though it seemed like forever, Magnus finally gasped for breath. Alec moved away from him immediately. Magnus jerked to the side, coughing up a whole lot of water.

When he was done, Magnus put his arms around himself, shivering. Alec didn't realize, too dizzy with relief that Magnus was fine, just how cold he himself was.

"Magnus," Alec whispered, and when Magnus turned to him, put his arms around Magnus, trying to warm him. "What happened?"

"Someone pushed me off the edge," Magnus whispered in the hush of the cave.

Alec's arms tightened around Magnus.

"Who was it?" Alec asked, his voice tight as well. He didn't care what Magnus thought of him in that moment. Whoever did this would pay. They would pay with their  _ life. _

"I don't know," Magnus said, sounding truthful and a little confused at the same time. "But I think it was the killer."

"Did you see who it was?" Alec whispered. He was practically boiling with rage on the inside. He would find this person, and snap their neck in two.

"That's just it, I-" Magnus swallowed. "I remember the fact that I fell, but I don't remember the actual fall. I feel like I'm supposed to remember _ something,  _ but…"

Magnus rested his head on top of Alec's shoulder. Alec brushed his fingers through Magnus's hair, compartmentalizing his anger and putting it away for later when he would really need it.

"It's okay," Alec said, a little softly. "We'll figure it out."

Magnus made some non-committal sound. His voice sounded weak. Alec needed to get him out of here, needed to take him someplace he could be warm.

At that very moment, there was the sound of footsteps, and Lucas appeared in the cave.

"There you are!" He said. "Aline's worried out of her mind about you two."

Alec narrowed his eyes at Lucas. "Where is she now?"

"I asked her and Helen to get some blankets from the resort," Lucas said, "and came looking for you myself.'

"How do you know about this cave?" Alec almost snapped.

Lucas shrugged. "I've been here many times before. Both to the resort, and to this cave."

Alec had many more questions, but before he could ask, Magnus shifted a little and muttered, "Alexander."

It sent a pang resonating through Alec's heart. He ran one hand down Magnus's back in long, slow strokes.

"We need to get him out," Lucas said. "I could carry him?"

"No," Alec said almost immediately, his hands tightening around Magnus. He didn't trust Lucas. He didn't trust  _ anyone. _

Alec stood up, holding Magnus in his hands the way he usually did, one hand supporting his back and the other hooked around his legs. Magnus weakly threw an arm around Alec's neck, his eyes dropping shut.

"Stay awake," he told Magnus, shoving down any emotion that might have crept up, and jerked his head towards Lucas. "Lead the way."

Lucas turned around and walked, and Alec followed him. They went through a twisting tunnel, out into the cold December light.

Magnus was violently shivering in his arms. Alec was cold, too, but he pulled Magnus closer, trying to keep him as warm as possible.

"Let's go back to the resort," Lucas suggested. "Helen and Aline will meet us on the way."

Alec nodded. He looked around and noticed that they were still on the cliff they had been walking on, so Helen and Aline just had to come back the same way they went.

They walked in silence for a while, the road before then sloping downwards, and then Alec saw Aline and Helen running towards them.

"Alec!" Helen exclaimed when she saw them. "Are you okay?!"

The duo reached them and unfurled the large blanket they were holding, wrapping it around Magnus and Alec. Magnus seemed to relax a bit.

"I'm fine," Alec said. "We're both fine."

Helen sighed in relief, but Aline turned to Lucas and snapped, "What's wrong with you?! Couldn't you have given them your jacket?!"

"I-" Lucas looked dumbfounded. "Madam, I have one jacket, and there are two of them-"

"So what?!" Aline interrupted. "Couldn't you have tried to save atleast  _ one _ of their lives, you dipshit?!"

"Aline," Helen chided, and Aline let the subject drop with a huff.

"So," Helen continued, turning to Alec, "What exactly happened?"

Magnus pulled the blanket closer around himself as he shuddered.

Alec was inside the bathroom, taking a hot shower. Magnus had taken one himself, but the cold had seeped deep into his bones, and refused to get out now. After he had come out of the shower, having changed into dry clothes, Magnus built himself a blanket nest with the blanket Aline and Helen got them, plus the ones provided in the room.

He thought of the journey back here - being carried in Alec's arms, his barely-there heat seeping through Magnus's skin; Alec's strong arms as he held him the whole way here, and the sound of his voice as he told Helen and Aline what happened, lulling Magnus info a near-sleep.

Magnus tugged the nest if blankets closer to himself. The only sounds in the room were from America's Next Top Model playing on TV and water running inside the bathroom.

The sounds of water running stopped abruptly, and a few minutes later, Alec walked outside, rubbing his head with a fluffy white towel. He walked towards the bed, draping the towel over the arm of one of the chairs, and sat on the bed.

Alec leaned back against the headboard, watching TV with disinterest. Magnus watched him. How was he not as affected by the cold?

A few minutes later, however, Alec gave a slight shiver. Yet he only clenched his hands resolutely, not showing his discomfort.

Magnus watched him for a few more minutes and deduced that Alec was definitely feeling cold. He was continuously shivering, yet he did not say anything.

"Alexander," Magnus said quietly. "Are you cold?"

Alec clenched his jaw. "No."

"You don't have to lie to me, Alec."

"I'm really not," Alec said, and immediately shivered again.

Magnus slowly opened up a part of his nest. "Come on in."

Alec shook his head, his eyes trained on a point somewhere downwards.

Magnus sighed and reached out, gently touching Alec's shoulder. "Alec, you know I care about you, right?"

Magnus's hand slid down to Alec's arm and tugged at it, urging him along. Alec allowed himself to be pulled towards Magnus, though he still didn't look at him. Magnus pulled Alec against him, inside the nest of blankets. 

Alec let out a tiny gasp, almost inaudible as Magnus curved an arm around him, tucking in the blankets surrounding them. Alec’s head was pressed against his shoulder, his arm was brushing against Magnus’s side, and their legs were tangled together. Alec’s eyes were still downcast, his face in the direction of the TV. Magnus slowly ran a hand down Alec’s arm. Even through the cloth of Alec’s sweater, he could feel the goosebumps that had arisen on his skin. Magnus rubbed Alec’s arm until they eased, and repeated the operation on his other arm.

He tried not to think too much about the fact that he was cuddling with his ex. ‘Cuddling with my ex’ sounded like the title of a bad romance novel.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered. “What are you doing?”

“Warming you up,” Magnus whispered, brushing his lips against Alec’s ear. He could feel the shudder that ran through Alec’s entire body. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s firm body and fell back against the headboard, pulling Alec with him. Alec’s sharp intake of breath broke the still air. He tentatively turned around in Magnus’s arms, resting his head against Magnus’s chest and wrapping his arms around Magnus’s waist. He still wasn’t looking at Magnus.

Magnus felt something break inside his chest, and warmth flooded his whole body like a wave. He bent down, burying his face in the soft locks of Alec’s hair.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For saving my life.”

“It was nothing,” Alec said, his voice blank.

“Not to me, Alexander,” Magnus whispered, his arms tightening around Alec. “Not to me.”

They stayed like that for the rest of the day, holding each other, surrounded by warmth. They didn’t separate even after night came.

_ “Magnus!” _

_ Magnus ran to his father, laughing as his kite streamed behind him. He was laughing, delighted as the kite flew behind him, like one of those banners behind aeroplanes. Magnus loved to see them. He dreamed of being in one someday, watching the world below him while they watched him sail across the sky. _

_ “Papa!” Magnus exclaimed, running into his father’s arms. “Where’s Mama?” _

_ Something flashed across his father’s face, but it was gone too quickly. _

_ “Mama’s gone shopping, sweetheart,” he said. “Do you want to go out?” _

_ Magnus shrieked in enthusiasm, and his father chuckled, but it was different from when he used to do it before, but Magnus didn’t mind much. _

_ They left the house, and Magnus laughed, watching the autumn leaves cascade from the trees, down to the ground below.  _

_ “Papa, why are those leaves falling down?” he asked. _

_ “They’re dying, sweetheart.” His father’s voice was quiet, but when Magnus looked at him, he was normal. _

_ They reached the riverbank soon, and Magnus laughed again. The river looked pretty, with its blue waters and the orange leaves that floated in it. Magnus had always liked the colour blue. _

_ He squirmed in his father’s grip until he let him down, and ran to the riverside, leaning over the dangerously low fence. He could see his reflection in the water below, but it looked funny, not all like the ones he saw in the mirrors at home. _

_ His father came up behind him, resting a hand on Magnus’s back. _

_ “Doesn’t it look pretty, Papa?” Magnus asked. _

_ “Yes, sweetheart, it does.” _

_ Father’s voice sounded strange, very strange, and when Magnus looked at him, he was glaring at Magnus, his eyes shining with tears. _

_ Magnus’s smile fell. He had never seen his Papa like this. He was about to ask what had happened, why he was so sad, but he never got the chance to. _

_ Father’s hand tightened on Magnus shoulder, and he shoved Magnus forward, towards the river. _

_ Magnus gasped as he tumbled over the fence, towards the waters below. _

_ He screamed. _

Alec woke up when he felt Magnus stirring against him.

They had stayed together the whole day, ordering room service and watching TV, leaving the blanket nest maybe once or twice, to use the bathroom or to open the door for the servicemen. It reminded Alec of the days when they were dating, except back then, Magnus and Alec would talk, mostly about things from college, and kiss. A lot. Now there was none of it, only a terrible silence as they held each other.

Alec slowly turned around. Sometime during the night, Magnus had spooned him, his chest pressed firmly against Alec’s back. Now, though, he looked troubled - his eyes were moving rapidly beneath his eyelids, and he was whispering something, his breath hot against Alec’s breath.

Alec looked at Magnus. There was tight crease between his eyebrows. He was squirming inside the cocoon of blankets. He was clearly having a nightmare.

Alec wriggled one hand out of the blankets, about to touch Magnus’s face, when a voice whispered inside his head. Magnus’s voice.

_ I’m having nightmares because of you, Alec. _

Alec’s breath caught in his throat. He wanted to wake Magnus up at that very instant, hold him close, whisper away any fear that had crept in him during the nightmare. Alec remembered several nights when he woke up in the middle of the night, hot tears running down his face. Remembered wanting someone beside him, but his doors had been locked by the very same people who taught him to walk.

Alec didn’t want Magnus to be alone after seeing all his worst fears in his head. But he couldn’t do more than let his hand hover over Magnus’s face.

Magnus's face was screwed up tight, yet there was a sort of strange peace in his face as horrific images flashed across his mind.

Alec wanted to wake him up, but there was the voice in his head, still lingering, still speaking.

_ You really think he'll want you around? After all you did to him? _

_ You hurt him. _

_ You hurt him. _

_ You  _ hurt  _ him. _

_ And you're making it worse, trying to make up for it. _

Each whisper in his head struck Alec's heart like a whiplash.

Magnus's eyes flew open suddenly and he gasped, jolting up and dragging the blankets along with him. Alec immediately shut his eyes, pulling his hand close to him and pretending to be asleep. Magnus gasped for breath, and then Alec’s heart broke when he heard a sob escape him. Magnus was crying.

_ And it’s all. Your. Fault. _

Magnus was sitting up straight, the only sounds in the room his muffled sobs. Alec listened, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. His tears silently soaking into his pillow, he had never felt more useless in his life.

The mood at the resort the next day was extremely dull.

“Alec,” Magnus said as he and Alec walked towards the lounge after a light breakfast. “You remember Shinyun Jung?”

Alec nodded. “Yes. Why?”

Alec’s eyes had narrowed slightly at the sound of her name.

Magnus licked his lips. “She’s staying in the town nearby. Back when I was in Paris…”

Alec paused and looked straight at Magnus.

“A few days after I met her, I found out that she has dissociative identity disorder,” Magnus said. “She’s a normal person most of the time, but her other persona is murderous. She kills, but she doesn’t remember killing them. Do you think….?”

“That she’s the one behind the murders?”

Magnus nodded.

Alec considered it for a moment, then shook his head.

“Back on that cliff,” he said. “I managed to catch a glimpse of that killer before they ran away. Their figure was too big to be a woman.”

“So it’s a man,” Magnus muttered, and they continued on their way to the lounge.

After a few moments, Alec spoke again, his voice a little tight. “Did Shinyun… Did she hurt you?”

Magnus shook his head. “No.”

Alec nodded, and turned his face away.

The mood was even more terse in the lounge.

After being bombarded with questions about their well-being, Alec and Magnus sat down at the opposite ends of the room. Ralph Scott was still standing, pacing across the room.

“The killer is getting bolder day by day!” He said, his voice trembling in anger. “We have to do something about them.”

“We don’t even know who it is,” Aline said. “We don’t even know  _ where  _ he is. He could be living in the town, or in this resort. Heck, he could be in this very room right now.”

There was a silence, and then Lily said, “You know, I love watching murder mysteries, but I didn’t expect I’d actually be in one.”

The silence turned even more solemn then.

“I saw the killer, back when he pushed Magnus off the cliff,” Alec said suddenly, and everyone looked at him. Alec continued on, “I could tell it was a man, but not much of anything else. He was covered from head to toe."

The rest of them contemplated this in silence.

"You know, I don't really see the point in staying here anymore," Raphael said.

"Because we're broke college students who paid for this and don't want our money to get wasted?" Magnus suggested.

"Yes, but money isn't more valuable than our lives," Raphael said through clenched teeth.

Raphael and Magnus stared at each other for a while, the tension between them thickening, and then Raphael stood up.

"Come on, Lily," he said, turning to his closest friend. "Pack your bags. We're leaving."

Later that afternoon, Magnus was pacing around in his room, huffing under his breath.

He still couldn't believe that Raphael had left just like that.

He was alone in the room - Alec had gone somewhere not long after the discussion in the lounge. The curtains flapped about in the wind strong enough to rattle windows.

The wind was very loud, and Magnus had his eyes on the ground. He wanted to kill Raphael - not literally, of course.

He was still pacing when someone grabbed him from behind, pressing a knife to his throat.

Magnus gasped. When did someone manage to sneak up on him?

"I've got you at last, Magnus Bane," the killer whispered, and Magnus's blood ran cold.

The man flung him aside, towards the closet. Magnus fell heavily against the wooden doors, gasping for breath. His heart was pounding.

"Of course," he continued, moving towards Magnus, pinning him against the doors and holding the knife to his throat. "You're not really the one I want, you know."

The man's voice was slightly muffled and scratchy, as if he was using some contraption to mask his real voice. "I want _ him.  _ I want your constant companion. I want Alec Lightwood."

Magnus froze. He couldn't move an inch. Yet his hands were shaking like leaves in the wind.

"Why?" He managed to gasp out.

The man chuckled. Magnus couldn't see his eyes, but he was sure they were full of mirth.

"Why indeed?" he said. "It's simple - he has what you don't. That boy-" he inhaled sharply. His knife pressed a little deeper into Magnus's throat. "I want to  _ break  _ him."

Magnus clenched his jaw. He wanted to say  _ something,  _ but he was losing his breath, losing  _ himself.  _

The man chuckled. "But if I needed him, I also needed to get rid of you. You always watch him like a hawk, and it's so annoying." The killer clicked his tongue.

"I was so close to grabbing him, so many times - in the town, in the woods, but you somehow managed to interfere every single damn time. Which is why I decided to kill you first."

Magnus's vision was starting to blur at the edges.

"It's a pity, though. We won't be able to have as much fun. The blood looks so much better against pale skin. We'll just have to make do. But those eyes…" the killer roughly grasped Magnus's chin, who now only had a vague idea of what was going on anymore. "I think I'll keep those eyes."

The killer raised his knife, and Magnus's eyes caught on it despite all the blurriness, and then suddenly the door burst open.

"What's going on?" Asked a voice taut with tension. Alec was here.

The killer chuckled. "Alexander. We were just talking about you."

"Don't call me Alexander," Alec said, his voice trembling with anger. "You're the one who killed them, aren't you? You're the one who killed them all."

The knife moved away from Magnus's throat, and he almost slid to the ground.

"Guilty as charged," the killer admitted, his voice amused.

"Why?" Alec asked.

"Why not?" The killer said, and lunged at him.

Atleast, that's what Magnus assumed. His vision was a blur, his mind was unfocused, unable to process what was happening in front of him.

There were sounds of scuffling, of people crashing against walls and doors, and then a loud crash. Magnus flickered his eyes uncertainly, and saw Alec lying beside the nightstand, having crashed into the wall. He grabbed the lamp on top of the nightstand and hurled I towards the killer, following close behind.

The lamp hit him, smashing into pieces, and then Alec was on him, his hands reaching for all the cloth covering the murderer's face. But the killer had foreseen his move. He grabbed Alec's arms and twisted them. Alec let out a low scream, and then the killer shoved him onto the bed before turning and fleeing.

"Alec," Magnus gasped out, reaching out towards the bed. He felt Alec's strong arms on him, pulling him close, and then he was enveloped in warmth.

"Tell me something that starts with an 'A'," Alec asked, his voice carefully blank whispering into Magnus's ear.

"Alexander," Magnus croaked out. Alec was silent for a moment, and then repeated.

"Tell me a work that starts with 'A'."

Magnus couldn't help but remember Alec being tossed around the bedroom, being flung into the wall and having his arm twisted. He asked, leaning further into the warmth, "Are you hurt?"

Alec sighed and pulled Magnus closer. He remained silent.

Magnus was about to put his own arms around Alec when they heard a very familiar scream.

When they both reached Helen's bedroom, she was sitting on the bed, sobbing. Aline was holding her in her arms, patting her head and muttering soothing words.

"Helen," Alec asked, stepping into the room. "What happened? We heard you scream."

"I- I was just napping," Helen said, tears spilling down her face. Her voice shook, but she spoke steadily enough. "And then, I suddenly woke up, and he- he was hovering over me. That killer. He almost grabbed me, and even cut me on my arm. I-"

Helen fell quiet and slowly turned her arm so that Magnus and Alec could see the long red incision that ran along the length of her forearm.

"We need to get that bandaged," Magnus said.

Aline nodded. "I've already called for a nurse."

Her gaze flickered towards the window, and Magnus followed it. Alec was climbing out the open window, his movements slow and careful.

"Where are you going?" Magnus asked.

"There are footprints out here," Alec said, his voice carefully blank, and he wasn't meeting Magnus's gaze, looking down at the ground instead. "I'm going to follow them and see where they lead."

"Be careful," Magnus said. Alec, now fully out of the window, looked up at him them. His lips parted a little, as if in surprise, and then he was gone.

Magnus waited in Helen's room for maybe fifteen minutes - during which a nurse came along and bandaged Helen's hand - before Alec came back through the door.

"There are two sets of footprints outside," Alec began without preamble, his voice urgent. "One leading away from the room, and one towards. The one leading away goes into the woods, and I couldn't follow it all the way. But the second, it goes right up to the entrance of the hotel."

Alec's eyes flickered towards Magnus. He was clearly omitting the fact that Magnus had been attacked, too.

"The killer clearly walked out of the hotel, and then circled it to get to Helen's room," Alec said. Helen and Aline's faces were solemn as they listened to Alec, and Magnus felt the same.

"This can only mean one thing," Alec continued, his face completely serious. "The killer is in this resort. He is one of the guests here."


	5. Part 5

There was a blizzard that night.

It was unfortunate, because Magnus and Alec, and Helen and Aline had planned to leave that very night, after spending the whole day packing. But they couldn’t leave in those conditions - it was too difficult to manoeuvre any sort of vehicle.

They were sitting ducks at the moment.

Magnus could bet that the killer was sitting in his hotel room somewhere, cackling to himself.

Alec was in the shower, and Magnus sat on the bed, typing away at his laptop. The blizzard, the murders, the attack on him earlier today, and the knowledge that the killer had his eyes on Alec weighed heavily on his mind, and writing was a way to forget things for a while.

As his writing rush slowed down, Magnus’s eyes flickered up and saw a thin sketchbook fluttering on the table near the armchairs.

The wind picked up the cover and flapped it aside, revealing a section of a vividly coloured painting.

Alec was an artist. He was in an arts college after all - it would be absurd if he didn’t practice some sort of art. Alec did paintings, but he never painted when Magnus was around, and the few times when Magnus asked to see them, Alec turned him down and Magnus did not push. He realised that Alec must've been painting while Magnus wrote, not paying any heed to the rest of the world. Now, though, as Magnus saw the watercolour smeared on pages, he couldn’t help his curiosity.

He put his laptop aside, and slowly walked towards the table, watching the pages flutter in the wind. Magnus sat in the armchair and opened the book to the first page.

There was simply no other way to describe the painting. It was an assault on the eyes. It was like stained glass, a mishmash of smudges of paint of various colours of all hues, arranged in a way that reminded Magnus of collages he made in kindergarten with bits of paper torn off from magazines. Within it, Magnus could vaguely make out a shape - the silhouette of a face from the side, tilted upwards as if looking at the moon. Magnus could make out the person's sharp jawline and spiky hair. It was himself.

He flipped the pages, his heart flipping in his chest. Everytime he managed to decipher a painting, his breath caught in his throat - there was Magnus, touching foreheads with another silhouette he recognized as Alec; Magnus and Alec holding hands in a sea of blue and gold; Magnus and Alec or just Magnus filling every brushstroke of every painting of every page.

"Magnus?"

Magnus jumped, and immediately shut the book. He whirled around in his armchair - he had been sitting facing away from the bathroom - and froze.

Alec was standing in the doorway, his hair damp from the shower, and he was wearing only a plain white robe. The robe was tied around his waist, revealing a long strip of Alec's pale chest. The robe fell to only just above his knees, and Magnus could most of his long, pale legs. The sleeves, however, covered all of Alec's arms. This was the most of Alec's body that Magnus had ever seen.

"What are you doing?" Alec asked, his blank face looking as it had been made out of porcelain.

"Nothing," Magnus lied, his throat dry. Alec stared at him a second longer, then walked over to his luggage on the other side of the room.

Of course. He'd just forgotten to put out clothes beforehand. They had packed up all their stuff before the blizzard started, and barely unpacked anything. Magnus watched as Alec took out some clothes and go back into the bathroom.

He got up and went to his side of the bed, shutting down his laptop and putting it away. By the time he was done, Alec came back, having changed into a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Alec lay down on his side of the bed, and Magnus turned off the lights.

They lay awake in the dark for a while, and then Magnus asked, "Alec, can I ask you something?"

It was something that he had been wondering about, ever since the day of Christmas Eve when Annabel's body was found.

"What is it?"

Magnus paused a moment. "Who's Max?"

There was a silence, and then Alec said, "I don't really see why you need to know."

Magnus fell silent and didn't reply. A few minutes later, Alec spoke up,

"Max is-  _ was,  _ my little brother."

Magnus's eyes widened and he turned to look at Alec, who was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. "Did you..?"

Alec let out a chuckle, and smiled. It was an eerie smile, especially in the little light that streamed in through the window. It was the first time since their breakup that Alec smiled around him. "You think so, too?"

Magnus had nothing to say to that.

"Back in those days," Alec began in a quiet voice. "My parents would lock me up in my room, and rarely let me out. They never even let me anywhere near my baby brother, Max, because they were afraid I'd hurt him." Alec's eerie smile widened just a fraction. "But then, one day, they had to. Max was nine then. He wanted to go to the library, but Jace and Isabelle weren't home, and mom and dad both had some work to attend to. So they asked me to take him instead.

"Max didn't like it. He didn't like  _ me.  _ On our way there, I remember we had an argument and he told me all sorts of things - that I was a horrible person, because I never spent time with him. That he preferred both Jace and Isabelle over me. I didn't know what to say.

"Maybe he decided he couldn't tolerate my presence anymore. I don't know why, but he suddenly got so angry, and he ran out on the road. I tried to stop him, but it was too late."

Magnus's breath caught and got stuck in his throat.

"It was a hit and run case. But my parents didn't believe it. They thought I was the one who killed my baby brother."

Alec chuckled dryly. "I told them it wasn't me. They didn't believe me. They made me a prisoner inside my own house. If it was bad before, they made it worse. And I-" Alec's voice caught, but just for a second. Magnus could see his lashes fluttering in the dark, like leaves in a storm. "I still remember the last words he said to me. 'You're the worst big brother ever'."

Alec chuckled again. "It seems I'm the worst at everything. Brother… boyfriend…  _ everything. _ "

The room fell silent for a few moments. Magnus reached out and took Alec's hand, squeezing it gently.

"I want to tell you something, too, Alec," he admitted quietly. He didn't know why he was saying this. He had never told anyone about this other than Catarina and Ragnor. There were some things he had never even told anyone. Everyone had their secrets, their own skeletons in the closet.

Alec turned to him, completely attentive, and Magnus spoke.

"I- I was still a kid back then. When everything was fine. I lived with my parents - my mother, who was always kind to me, and my father. And then one day, I was out playing when my father took me out into town."

Magnus gulped. He had rarely relived this part of his life before. There were some experiences that he'd shoved into the deepest parts of his mind, desperate to forget them.

"I kept asking him where my mother was. He never gave me a proper reply. And then, suddenly, he pushed me into a river nearby."

Alec drew in a sharp breath.

"Some passersby saw it all, and called the police. I was saved. My father ended up in jail. Later, I found out-"

Magnus stared into the darkness above him. Alec wasn't the first time that he'd found out that someone he loved turned out to be a murderer.

"I found out that he killed my mother."

Magnus closed his eyes, and felt the slight pressure of Alec's fingers on his hand.

"My mother had cheated on him, long ago. I had come out of her ill decisions, and my father didn't want me, or her, anymore. That's why he- that's why he killed her, and tried to kill me, too. He tried to drown me, but it didn't work. Those few moments I was underwater… they were the scariest moments I ever faced in my life, Alexander."

Magnus's throat clogged up as he finished speaking. Alec's hand wrapped fully around his, and gave a gentle squeeze.

“I had a nightmare about it, too, just the other day,” Magnus added quietly.

It was silent for a few more minutes, and then Alec said, "Thanks for telling me."

Magnus small smile was left unseen in the dark. "Thanks for telling me too, Alec."

They fell asleep soon after, their hands interlinked between them.

  
  


The next afternoon, Magnus was writing, continuing his work from last night when there came a knock at the door.

The blizzard last night had filled up the streets with snow, making it impossible for anyone to leave the resort. Magnus had asked the receptionist and she’d said glumly that it would take another two days for the authorities to arrive.

Magnus’s heart had sunk when he heard that. Two days was more than enough for the killer to grab Alec at any given moment and- and-

Magnus shook it off and got out of bed, putting his laptop aside. He pulled out the pocket knife that Alec always had hidden under his pillow and held it behind his back, just in case. He opened the door and froze.

It was Ralph Scott.

Magnus had been avoiding one-on-one interactions with him, and only stayed in the same room as him if he really needed to. Every time he saw Ralph, he remembered Woolsey, which reminded him of all his other exes, and he’d feel sorrow and guilt and anger and a thousand other feelings.

Ralph inclined his head towards Magnus. “Can I come in?”

Magnus quietly nodded and moved aside to let him in, subtly shoving the knife into his back pocket. Ralph came into the room, his eyes doing a quick sweep over everything that was there before he went over and sat in one of the armchairs. He gestured to the armchair in front of him and said, “Sit down, I need to talk to you about something.”

Magnus nodded, and did as he said, settling down in the armchair.

Ralph leaned forwards. “Remember, one day when I said that Woolsey’s death was a murder and not an accident?”

The air in the room turned cold all of a sudden. Magnus’s hair stood on end, and he nodded.

“Do you know why I think so?” Ralph asked.

Magnus shook his head.

Ralph nodded solemnly and continued, “It’s more than one reason actually. First of all, the one who did it had his- had his motive.”

Ralph looked into Magnus’s eyes. No words were needed to know what Ralph was thinking -  _ He killed your lovers, and Woolsey was one of them. _

“Then what are the other reasons?” Magnus asked quietly.

“I talked to the police team who investigated his case,” Ralph said. “They told me some things. When they examined the debris of the car, the airbags were missing. The brake fluid had entirely been drained out. All of this made me believe that someone had sabotaged his car to get him killed.”

“Maybe it was Sebastian,” Magnus said carefully.

Ralph shook his head. “It wasn’t Sebastian. The night of his death, Sebastian was at a bar. I was at the same bar along with my date. I remember I punched one of his friends for some stupid comment he had made. Sebastian was there the whole time. It couldn’t have been him.”

Magnus’s throat was dry. “Then who do you think it is?”

“I don’t know,” Ralph said, his face serious. “I have a few leads, but I can’t tell you. It’s not that I trust you, but it’s too dangerous. I believe Woolsey’s murderer framed Sebastian. And, according to my sources, he is in this hotel right now.”

Magnus’s blood froze. Surely, Ralph wasn’t suspecting Alec? He shook those thoughts away and concentrated on the matter at hand.

“So what are you going to do when you find him?” Magnus asked. His heart was thudding in his chest.

Ralph’s eyes gleamed dangerously. “I’m going to  _ kill him. _ ”

“Magnus?”

Magnus swerved around, the bedsheets twisting under him. Alec stood in the doorway, looking right at him.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Alec asked, closing the door behind him.

Magnus nodded. “I just talked to Ralph. I think… I think he suspects you of murdering Woolsey. We need to leave as soon as possible, Alec.”

Alec narrowed his eyes. “Impossible. I made sure not to leave any evidence pointing to me.”

Magnus got up and slowly went over to Alec.

“Look,” he said carefully. “I don’t know how, but Ralph already knows that you- that Woolsey’s murder is in this very resort.”

Alec’s face was completely devoid of any panic. He calmly walked over to his nightstand and picked up his water bottle. Drinking from it, he said, “Why are you so desperate to leave?”

Magnus flushed.

"What do you care if I get caught?" Alec continued on, putting the bottle back in its place. "Which is not going to happen, by the way. I did not dirty my hands in this murder.”

Magnus couldn’t help but notice the way Alec was speaking, as if he was just talking about the weather, some daily occurrence that no one really cared about.

“Don’t you…” Magnus asked, and swallowed. “Don’t you feel guilty? About murdering all those people?”

Alec laughed. 

"Why should I feel guilty?" He said. Alec's back was turned to Magnus, who could only see a sliver of his pale face. "They were bound to die someday. I just gave them the ticket sooner."

"What the hell, Alec?" Magnus snapped. "These are  _ lives  _ we're talking about."

"People kill thousands of animals everyday," Alec said. "I've just killed a few humans. I don't see the difference."

"I can't believe I-" Magnus stopped short when Alec turned around to face him. His eyes were cold and distant. His pupils were dilated.

"Can't believe what?" Alec asked, and his voice was cold, too. "That you ever loved a person like me? That you ever loved a  _ murderer  _ like me?"

Alec smiled, and his smile was the coldest of all. Magnus felt shivers go down his spine, and involuntarily took a step back.

"Tell me, Magnus," Alec spoke on, moving towards Magnus. "What's so bad about being a murderer?"

"You know very well what," Magnus said, his voice cold as frozen iron.

Alec laughed. "Oh, right. I'm a cold blooded  _ monster _ , isn't it? I'm a heartless beast, isn't it?" Seeing Magnus's shell-shocked face, he added, "I'm no fool, Magnus. I know exactly what people think of me."

Before Magnus could say a word, Alec moved forward, closing the gap between them.

"But you know what hurts like hell?" Alec whispered. Their faces were only inches apart. "The fact that you think the same of me, too."

"Alec-" Magnus began, but then he looked into Alec's eyes, and thought that it was better if he didn't speak. Alec's eyes seemed to be darker than the deepest parts of the sea.

"Why," Alec whispered, looking straight into Magnus's eyes. "Why did you play games with me, then? Why did you pretend to love me when you thought I was a heartless rogue with an obsession for you? Why?"

_ I never pretended, Alexander. _

Magnus was left speechless by Alec's accusation. Where was all this even coming from?

Alec laughed again, the sound chilling Magnus's bones. "And what the hell was all that, by the way? All that bullcrap you told me? When I told you I couldn't live without you? 'That's like comparing drugs to oxygen'?! What the hell, Magnus?!"

Alec's eyes were fiery and wild, by the time he finished. Magnus was left speechless, not just because of Alec's words, but also because this was the first time since their breakup that he saw any real emotion from Alec around him. The walls were still there, but Magnus could see a fire through them.

"I was thinking about myself, Alexander," Magnus admitted at last, reaching out to touch Alec's cheek. Alec looked a little surprised.

"You're… I used to think you were a wonderful person, Alexander," Magnus went on. "Mysterious, but wonderful. And then I saw you in that basement, and things got worse."

Magnus chuckled, and took hold of Alec's elbow with his free hand, drawing him closer. "I didn't want to leave you, but you- you hurt me. Over and over again. And yet I couldn't bring myself to leave you until that day. You've killed people I love, and you've tried to kill me, too. You-" Magnus's hand moved to palm the back of Alec's neck. "You're bad for me, Alexander."

Magnus kissed him. Alec's lips were hard but soft; unrelenting but inviting. Magnus wound his arm around Alec's waist and held him close.

"You're bad," he murmured against Alec's lips, "but so,  _ so _ , additcting."

Alec growled low in his throat and grabbed Magnus's shirt, bunching up the thin cloth in his hands. Magnus's back hit the wall behind him just as Alec's hands went under his shirt. Magnus moaned as Alec threw himself completely into the kiss, biting and sucking at Magnus's lips.

Magnus's hands roamed wildly over the length of Alec's back until they found the hem of Alec's sweater and slid under the soft cloth. Alec's sharp breath broke the still air as Magnus caressed his waist, and then he abruptly pulled away.

They stared at each other a long moment, breathing hard, and Magnus's heart dropped when he realised what just happened.

"Alexander," he said, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No," Alec said sharply, his eyes closing shut as if trellis gates had fallen over them. "You shouldn't have."

Alec stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Magnus slid down to the ground, holding his head in his hands.

He really needed to sort out his priorities.

"There's still too much snow outside," Aline complained, her head in Helen's lap. "Why is there so much snow outside? I want to go home. I want to survive until next year."

Helen laughed, patting her girlfriend's head. "It's okay, I'm sure we will."

Aline smiled up at her. "Yeah, we better."

The only other person in the lounge was Alec, who sat in one corner and was looking at something on his phone.

"Hey, Alec!" Aline called out. "Do you want to play something?"

Alec shook his head. He was looking very pale, Aline realized, much paler than he usually did.

"I'm good," Alec mumbled, though it was nearly inaudible. Then he got up and left the lounge.

Aline sat up, her eyes having caught onto something glinting in the chair where Alec had been sitting. It was Alec's phone.

"He left his phone here," Aline said, mostly to herself, and retrieved the phone before returning to her position in Helen's lap.

"Aline," Helen chided, running one hand through Aline's dark hair. "What did I tell you about snooping?"

Aline stuck out her tongue at Helen and turned on the phone, groaning when she realised that Alec had set a pattern to unlock the phone.

"What do you think it is?" She asked Helen, staring at the nine dots.

"Try 'M'," Helen suggested, and when Aline looked at her, she shrugged and said, "'M' for Magnus."

"Nah," Aline said, trying it out anyway. "He must've moved on from that-"

Aline broke off when it worked. Then she saw the wallpaper and blinked. When she looked up, Helen was raising an eyebrow at the wallpaper.

"Or not," Helen said.

"I need to talk to him," Aline said, getting off Helen's lap and running after Alec.

Alec's head was spinning by the time he reached the end of the corridor.

Hanging out at a random spot in the corridor maybe wasn't the best idea, but Alec couldn't think of a better idea. He wanted to be alone for a while.

He couldn't stop thinking about that kiss with Magnus.

And it was Magnus who kissed him, not the other way around.

It was enough to spark hope inside him, but Alec had stifled the spark as soon as it came. It was futile to hope. He had learnt that the hard way.

"Alec!" came a familiar voice from across the corridor, and Alec internally groaned.  _ So much for being alone… _

Aline came to a stop in front of him. Alec crossed his arms, stared her down and asked, "What?"

"I need to talk to you," Aline said. She held up a phone -  _ his  _ phone, Alec realized. It was unlocked, the wallpaper clear for all to see.

His wallpaper was one of the pictures from prom, of him and Magnus standing in the garden and looking into each other's eyes like there was nothing else in the world. They looked like they were in love.

It was why Alec loved that photo so much.

Aline raised an eyebrow, the simple gesture holding every single question she wanted to ask.

Alec sighed and looked away for a few moments. At last, he said, "I think I'm still in love with Magnus."

"Then why don't you tell him?!" Aline exclaimed.

Alec shook his head. "It won't matter. He won't believe me."

Aline huffed. "Alec, that's the most stupid excuse I've ever heard for not confessing your love to someone."

Alec shrugged. "It's true."

"What if he does believe you?" Aline asked. "Just give it a try, Alec."

"But-" Alec started, before he was crudely interrupted by Aline.

"Listen," she said. "I can see just how much you love him. If he doesn't see it, then he's a complete idiot. Just tell him everything just as you feel it. Don't hold anything back. And if he still refuses to take you back-" Aline puffed out her chest. "Then I'll punch him in the face."

Alec huffed out a breath of surprised laughter, and ruffled Aline's hair. "You know, I'm glad we're friends."

Aline smiled at him. "Me too, Alec. Me too."

Magnus had no idea how long he had been sitting on the ground, but he had moved only moments ago. Now he was in the shower, because the shower was the best place to think, and he needed to think.

He had no idea what to think.

There was, obviously, the matter of Alec. He had no idea what to think of Alec. He missed the times he spent with Alec, sometimes, but Alec was a murderer, and one simply couldn't be with a murderer.

But then, unbidden images came to his mind, of Shinyun Jung's boyfriend looking at her with love, despite knowing all that she had done.

But that was different. Shinyun didn't know what she was doing. Alec knew, he was completely aware of it while doing it, and he didn't care.

And yet Magnus loved him.

But being with him-

Magnus huffed and looked upwards, the hot water spilling onto his face.

Sometimes, his thoughts were like silk threads, flying around in the wind, a mess of tangles that he couldn't make sense of.

He loved Alec, that was true.

His heart wanted to be with Alec, his mind knew to stay away from Alec, and he had no idea where to stand.

He had to choose, someday.

But he had no idea what to choose.


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry for the late update. My exams are coming up and I hardly had any time to write in the past month. Hopefully I'll be able to post the next chapter (which is also the last one) sooner.  
> Enjoy! :))

_ Today is the day. _

_ I can feel it. Today will definitely be the day. _

_ You and I will have a lot of fun, Alexander Lightwood. _

"When are you going to talk to him?"

Magnus's ears perked up at the conversation happening right opposite him in the dining hall. Aline's face was turned towards Alec, her eyebrows creased a little.

Alec shook his head. "Stop pestering me. I'll tell him."

"You better," Aline said, and turned back to her meal.

Magnus turned to Helen, who simply shrugged, her spoon halfway to her mouth. He turned back to his own plate and stared at his contents. He didn't really have much of an appetite at the moment.

Magnus sighed and left the lunch table returning to his room. He kicked off his shoes and plopped down onto the bed. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, contemplating.

The authorities responsible for clearing the snow had still not arrived. Magnus was growing more worried day by day.

He couldn't help but think of the killer, who wanted to get his hands on Alec for whatever reason. He dreaded to think of what could happen if he did. Alec was strong, but his mind was fragile - and there was no point in having a strong body with no mind to control it.

“Magnus?”

Magnus stopped.

He didn’t have much of a choice, anyway. Alec grabbed his wrist as he walked in the hallway, clearly intent on talking.

Magnus turned to him. Alec bit his lip. There was conflict in his eyes and uncertainty in his words. “I need to talk to you.”

Magnus nodded, giving Alec all his attention. Alec looked around, and then said, “Not here. Let’s go talk in our room.”

Alec pulled him in the direction of their room, his grip on Magnus’s hand unwavering. Magnus followed him, helpless and curious - what did Alec want to talk to him about?

When they reached the room, Alec shut the door behind them and turned to Magnus.

“What did you want to talk about?” Magnus asked.

Alec took a deep breath, and blurted out, “I love you.”

Magnus blinked. “ _ What _ ?”

Alec met Magnus’s eyes. “I mean it. I don’t have any sort of stupid obsession for you. I  _ love  _ you, Magnus.”

Magnus was about to speak up when Alec held up a hand, stopping him.

“Look, I know what you're thinking. That I'm a monster, that I'm heartless, but," Alec swallowed, looking directly at Magnus. "I can love, too, you know?"

"Alec," Magnus said slowly, "I never said that you can't love. I just said that you don't love  _ me." _

"Don't try to tell me how I feel," Alec said, his voice tight. Then he looked away, his eyes darting around wildly. He made a few false starts at speaking, faltered, and then said at last, his eyes settling on Magnus, "I’d  _ die  _ for you, Magnus. But- but I want to live with you my whole life. I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. And when I saw you with anyone else, I was so afraid - that I would lose you forever, that we wouldn’t be able to be together and I had no idea what to do and I just-“

Alec paused, his voice catching in his throat. Magnus had no idea what to say.

"Magnus," Alec continued on. "Just think about it. If I never loved you, why would I give you a choice? Why didn't I just grab you like Julie did? Because I love you and I wanted you to love me, wanted you to  _ want  _ me. Wanted something normal in my life. I want you to be happy with me. I want to be there for you, your whole life. I want you. I love you."

Magnus was stunned speechless. He just stared at Alec.

"All this time, I never meant to hurt you, Magnus. But I did, and I-" Alec exhaled a breath, and averted his gaze. "I'm truly sorry for that."

A few beats of silence passed.

Magnus didn't reply. Alec took note of his silence, and slowly backed away, walking out of the room. The door shut with a soft click behind him.

The truth was, Magnus had no idea what to say.

_ He loves me,  _ he thought.  _ He loves me, and I love him. But should I…. _

He looked at the door through which Alec had gone.  _ Should I? _

Alec was sitting on the snow, waiting.

He could’ve gone anywhere else, he supposed, but he wanted to stay close to the resort, wanted to see if Magnus would come after him.

He couldn't stay, too afraid to hear what Magnus had to say. This was a test of sorts, he supposed. If Magnus came after him, then he loved Alec. If not…

Alec pulled out his phone, then realized when he turned it on that it wasn't his phone at all, but Magnus's. He must've grabbed the wrong phone in the morning.

Alec sighed, and looked up. The sky was already golden, light cutting through the treetops and falling on the snow below, turning the whole scene an irresistible shade of gold.

Where was Magnus?

Magnus sat on the armchair by the window, his mind reeling.

He couldn't stop thinking about Alec. His mind had turned into the broken tape, playing his time with Alec on repeat, over and over again. One by one, several images flickered across his mind - Alec, sitting in a tree and looking down at him; Alec sitting beside him on a bench, looking into his eyes moments before their first kiss; Alec holding him, comforting him about his irrational fears; Alec standing in the basement with blood on his hands and the brightest smile on his face; Alec looking at him with bright blue eyes brimming with what he now definitely knew to be love; Alec, over and over again, saving Magnus from death with all he had; Alec telling him,  _ I love you. _

But he had no idea where Alec was right now. Outside, it was getting dark, and Alec still hadn't returned.

Suddenly a thought struck Magnus, piercing through his heart like an arrow and shattering it. He'd completely forgotten that a murderer was loose in this very resort. A murderer who was after Alec.

Magnus cursed and pulled out his phone - only to realize it was actually Alec's. Alec must have taken his phone then.

Magnus stared at the pattern lock for a moment before putting in 'M'. Unsurprisingly, it worked. Magnus wasn't too surprised either when he saw the wallpaper - one of the photos that Magnus and Alec had taken on the night of prom, with Magnus and Alec standing in the traditional dancing pose, looking into each other's eyes with soft smiles on their faces.

The picture sent a pang through Magnus's heart, but he didn't have time to dwell on it. He quickly called his own number, and cursed when, after two rings, it got cut off. Magnus had disabled his voicemail after an incident with an ex-boyfriend sending him excessively lengthy voicemails, and several of them. Now he wished he didn't.

He pulled out of the calling app, and scrolled through desperately, searching for something - he didn't know what - when his eyes landed on what appeared to be a tracking app.

The app's name was 'Tracker', which was what gave it away. Magnus tapped on it, intrigued and hopeful. A map opened up on a screen, with a blue dot flashing to one side. Magnus recognized the layout of the resort, and tapped on the blue dot.

A tiny label with the name 'Magnus<3' flashed on the flashed. Magnus blinked at it.

"What the fuck, Alec?" Magnus muttered, not angry but still slightly weirded out. So this was how Alec had found him that day in town. He must've planted a tracker in Magnus's phone.

Outside, the sky had gone dark. Magnus opened the window and climbed out, having pulled on his jacket. He looked down again at the blue dot flashing on the screen and followed it, a flashlight in his hand as he moved through the thick snow.

The sky had gone dark, and Magnus still hadn't arrived. Alec was just beginning to lose hope when he heard the crunch of footsteps on snow.

He gave a minute turn of his head towards the sound, listening intently before he realized who it actually was. Disappointment and dread filled his heart.

"It's you," he whispered, not moving from his position.

All was silent, and then a hand shot out from behind, ready to grab Alec. Alec caught hold of the man's arm and flipped him over. He landed in the snow with a loud crunch.

Alec stood up, his knife ready in his hand. He stood over the killer, who lay still on the ground, and slowly bent over to pull off his mask.

But the killer was anticipating it. Maybe he had planned for it. He grabbed Alec's hand and pulled him to the ground. Alec kicked his arm and he let go. He stumbled forward and turned around to see that the killer had gotten to his feet. With his ensemble, he looked like a phantom among the woods.

"Waiting for your lover?" he leered. His voice sounded distorted through his mask.

Alec raised his chin. "Who are you?"

"I know you're waiting for him," the killer said, and he sounded like he was laughing. "But there's no point. He's not coming."

Something must've shifted in Alec's face, because the killer actually laughed this time.

"You heard right, doll. He's not coming. He's dead."

Alec flinched, and there was a tremor to his voice when he said, "You're bluffing."

Alec could feel the killer's smile. "Of course not. I was there, you see, I was the one who killed him."

Alec stumbled, but only a little. He moved sideways, and the killer moved the other way. They began to circle each other.

"You're lying," Alec said.

The killer laughed. "Why would I lie to you? I swear, Alexander, I could clearly hear his heartbeat as it went out-"

"Shut up."

"And the light in his eyes as it died out. Such bright eyes, too. They would've looked good in a glass jar, don't you think?"

"I said  _ shut up." _

"And there was so much blood. The bedsheets were soaked with them. The poor hotel staff-"

" _ Shut. Up!!" _

Alec broke the formation and charged towards the killer, his mind blank. There was a strange sort of buzzing in his ears. He remembered, a few minutes earlier, when Magnus called him and he cut the calls each time.

He didn't want to believe it, but there seemed to be nothing else to do.

_ It's all your fault. He was probably calling for help. If only you'd picked it up- _

The killer grabbed him easily and threw him to the ground. The world rattled as Alec hit the snow. He tried to get back up almost immediately, but the killer was already there, flipping him over and locking his arms behind his back in one single move.

Alec tried to scream, but his mouth was forced shut by one of the killer's hands. Alec realized that he didn't have his gloves on.

"Oh, right. My gloves." The killer pulled his hands back and returned them before Alec could even open his mouth. Alec almost gagged. The gloves were wet, sticky, and from the one over Alec's mouth he could smell the pungent, strong smell of iron.  _ Blood. _

"I was wearing them during the murder, so excuse me if they're a little messy," the killer said, and Alec gagged for real this time. This was  _ Magnus's  _ blood. Tears stung his eyes, and the killer continued to speak. "There was a lot of blood, as I was saying. Oh, you don't like them there? I could just move them a little, then…"

The hand holding Alec's wrists together moved up, smearing the blood all over his arm. Alec squirmed, trying to get away from it just as the hand over his mouth moved, too. Tears ran down his face, mixing with the blood that was now smeared on his cheeks.

"Stop," he whispered, his mind and heart breaking just the same. "Please, stop. Why, why,  _ why?!" _

"Don't worry, I didn't leave my fingerprints anywhere," the killer said in what was meant to be an assuring tone. "I didn't leave any of my things, too. Thanks for the knife under the pillow, by the way. It was very convenient for me.”

Alec froze.

“Very useful, too. Too bad I ended up leaving it behind. You didn’t leave your fingerprints on it, did you?”

He did. He touched the knife with his bare hands, and forgot to wipe off the fingerprints. If anyone found it, then they’d assume…

They’d assume that Alec was the one who killed Magnus.

He stopped struggling. What was even the point anymore?

He’d rather die than face the world as Magnus’s murderer.

“Good choice,” the killer commented, and Alec could hear the eerie smile in his voice. He'd smiled many smiles like that himself.f. “If you cooperate, you might join your Magnus soon.”

He wouldn’t. Magnus was goodness personified. He would go to heaven. Alec, on the other hand, was the Devil’s scythe, doomed to go to hell.

He wanted to laugh, but his mouth was already covered by a cloth, the thick smell of chloroform filling his senses.

_ The sun was down by the time he reached the cabin. _

_ It was a small little place he’d gotten a long time ago. It was his workshop now. _

_ He stepped out of the car and walked to the back. Opening the door, he looked at the figure curled up in the corner. _

_ He had bound Alec’s hands, and blindfolded him. It was futile right now, since Alec was unconscious anyway, but it would be useful later.  _

_ Even in the dim light, Alec’s skin shone brightly, a stark contrast to the dark blood stains on his face and neck. It wasn’t Magnus’s blood, but Alec didn’t need to know that. He needed Alec to believe that Magnus was gone, that he had no reason to fight. _

_ Love. It was such a strange thing. And it was always so easy to break someone who was in love. _

It was completely dark by the time Magnus reached the blue dot.

It had started moving not long after Magnus had left the room, and he had to move twice as fast to catch up, his heart thundering in his chest. Now he had finally caught up.

In front of him, standing a few metres away was a small rundown cabin. The windows were papered up, but the lights were turned on, and Magnus could see shadows shifting inside the cabin.

Taking a deep breath, he put Alec's phone in his pocket and slowly walked towards the cabin, freezing on the spot every time his boots crunched against the snow. Only the thought of Alec kept him going.

Magnus reached the front door, which seemed to have broken down long ago - there was only a gap in the wall that served as an entrance. He slowly crept in. The front room was dark and empty, but light was streaming in through a doorway to one side. Magnus tiptoed over to it and peeked in.

The room was lit by a bright light hanging from a ceiling. Under it, his hands tied to a thin wooden pillar behind him, was Alec. Alec was completely naked above the waist, except for a ribbon of cloth that covered his eyes. There was blood smeared all over his face, neck and his forearms. The killer was also there, standing in front of Alec. He had one hand in Alec’s hair, bending his head to a savage angle, while the other was holding a syringe, the tip already jammed into Alec’s throat.

“Don’t worry,” the killer said in what he probably thought was a soothing tone. “It’s nothing, you know. Just keeps the blood from clotting. I hate it when that happens.”

He didn’t have his usual garb covering him, and Magnus froze when he heard the man’s voice. It was very familiar.

Alec was right about the killer being one of the resort’s residents.

The killer turned away from Alec, halfway towards the door, and Magnus finally saw his face.

It was strange, Magnus thought, that a lot of people he met recently had turned out to be murderers.

First Alec. Then Shinyun, and then Julie. And now it was Lucas.

Magnus didn’t feel anything. He wasn’t that close with Lucas, and he never really suspected Lucas of being a murder either.

He did feel one thing, though. His hand automatically reached for the pocket knife he’d grabbed before leaving the room, and flipped it open.

Lucas wandered over to a table on one side of the room, and picked up a wickedly sharp knife, its blade gleaming in the light.

Magnus wasn't sure what happened next. He wasn't sure what he was thinking, but one moment he was hiding and the next he was barging into the room, straight for Lucas.

Lucas's eyes widened in surprise, and Magnus plunged the knife he held into Lucas's shoulder, right above the collarbone. Only a split second passed before Magnus dragged the knife downwards, slashing diagonally across Lucas's body.

It felt like the knife was an extension of his hand. Magnus could  _ feel  _ the tissues tear apart at the touch of his knife. Lucas's own knife clattered to the ground and he let out a savage cry, stumbling backwards, his hands pressed to his chest as if trying to undo the irreparable damage Magnus had inflicted on him.

Lucas fell to the ground, just in front of the table, and Magnus stared, his hands shaking.

_ I did this, _ he thought as Lucas's blood flowed out of the wound, along with other bodily fluids, onto the old wooden floor.  _ I was the one who did this. _

_ What have I done? _

"Magnus?"

Magnus snapped out of his reverie as he heard Alec's voice, small and shaky from somewhere behind him. Magnus turned towards Alec and saw him, his head upraised like a wolf howling at the moon. Alec's eyes were still blindfolded, and he looked in Magnus's general direction expectantly.

Magnus slowly walked towards him, until he was right in front of Alec. Carefully, he cut the ropes binding Alec to the pole with the knife. Magnus's other hand reached up, going behind Alec's head and undoing the knot of his blindfold.

The blindfold was silk, sliding down Alec's face and revealing his eyes, blue and red and wet with tears. He was looking at Magnus very strangely, as if he couldn't quite believe that Magnus was here, as if Magnus had crossed the seven seas and more just to see Alec.

Magnus's heart trembled at the sight, and he stepped back, holding out the knife to Alec. Alec looked at the knife, and then back at Magnus.

Magnus jerked his head at Lucas, who was still twitching on the ground. "Finish him off."

Alec gingerly took the knife and walked towards Lucas, his movements slow and despairful. Alec kneeled down beside Lucas, who chuckled when he saw Alec.

"I should've known you were like me," he rasped through the pain.

In a movement so swift that Magnus had almost missed it, Alec plunged the knife into Lucas's heart. 

"I'm nothing like you," he whispered.

Alec was completely still for a few moments, his head bowed. He slowly pulled out the knife from Lucas's chest, wiping it on a rag from the table and putting it inside his pocket. Then, using the same rag, he picked up Lucas's knife, careful not to touch it with his bare fingers, and smeared some of Lucas's blood on it. Alec placed the knife near Lucas's hand, and then was completely still. He wasn't looking at Magnus.

Magnus tentatively reached out, placing a hand on Alec's shoulder. "Alexander?"

Alec drew in a swift breath and got to his feet in one fluidlike movement, crashing into Magnus. For a moment Magnus was almost afraid, but then Alec was holding onto him right, his face buried in the crook of Magnus's neck.

Alec dropped to his knees, pulling Magnus down with him, and let out a broken sob. Another quickly followed, and then Alec was crying, his arms locked tight around Magnus.

Magnus removed his jacket with some difficulty and wrapped it around Alec's shoulders. His own arms went around Alec and he whispered into Alec's ear, "It's okay, it's going to be okay."

Alec's sobs subdued somewhat, and Magnus slowly pulled away. He cupped Alec's face in his hands and wiped away his tears with a swipe of his thumb.

"It's okay," he whispered, looking straight into Alec's eyes, which were wide and sad and looking right at Magnus. "I'm here now. It's going to be okay."

Alec's eyes shut briefly. He nodded, and wore the jacket properly, zipping it up over his bare chest. "Let's go."

They stood up, and had only just moved towards the door when, a split second later, a loud bang cut through the air and one of the windows smashed into pieces.

Magnus and Alec were standing right in front of that window. Whatever had broken it could've come for them.

Alec eye's hardened and he ran out of the cabin, Magnus on his heels. Outside, the clouds had parted, the moonlight revealing a figure running away from the cabin.

Alec ran after him, but the snow was too much, hindering him. Alec pulled out his knife and hurled it towards the man.

The knife sailed through the air and buried itself in his thigh. The man cried out and fell to the ground. Magnus watched as he slowly got to his feet and pulled out the knife, dumping it on the ground.

Even in the dim light, his face was clear.

"Ralph?" Magnus said incredulously.

Ralph looked up, a scowl on his face.

"Magnus," he snarled.

"What are you doing here?" Magnus demanded, his voice tight.

Ralph jerked his head towards Alec. "I'm only here to avenge my brother. Stay out of this, Magnus."

Magnus's blood turned to ice. "What are you taking about?"

"Alexander Lightwood was the one who killed my brother," he said through gritted teeth. "I wasn't entirely sure before, but now I've seen him kill someone else. I  _ know  _ it's  _ him-" _

"Lucas was trying to kill him!" Magnus argued.

Ralph glared at him. "You stay out of this. I've seen your little spectacle in there. You  _ know _ that he's the one who killed your lovers, and yet you're on his side. Is he  _ that  _ good in bed?"

Magnus blanched. Even in the moonlight, he could see the dark, embarrassed flush on Alec's cheeks.

"Forget about him. Why did you ever think it was Alec?" Magnus asked.

Ralph clucked his tongue. "Dodging the point, I see. Well, I saw him kill my girlfriend in front of my very eyes. Is that a good enough reason for you?"

"Your girlfriend?!" Magnus asked again.

"Camille," Ralph said, and there was a lot of emotion in that one exhale - love, and loss, and a lot of anger. "She told me to come to the University's gardens that night. I did. And just in time, too - I saw your lover boy drown Camille right in front of me. I stayed hidden that day, and ever since I've been trying to catch him red-handed in the act."

"She had more than one," Magnus whispered to himself, and then said out loud, "So you knew about her other loves?"

"Yes."

Now it was Magnus's turn to click his tongue. "And yet you stayed with her. Why, was she  _ that  _ good in bed?"

Magnus couldn't help but throw Ralph's jab right back at him. Ralph's face twisted, and he cocked the pistol in his hands - Magnus didn't realise he had one until now. He must've been the one who fired the pistol while they were still inside the cabin.

"Enough talking," he said, and turned towards Alec.

"Wait!" Magnus cried out, his heart missing a beat. Ralph paused and turned to Magnus.

"Look," he said, "Whatever was between you and Alec, forget about it. He deserves to die for what he did."

"There was nothing between me and Alec," Magnus said through gritted teeth. It was a white lie - there was a lot between him and Alec - but he didn't want to admit it to Ralph, who would think that Magnus was twisted to be with a murderer.

Sometimes, Magnus thought so himself.

Ralph raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" 

He tossed the pistol towards Magnus, who neatly caught it. "Kill him yourself, then."

Magnus almost dropped the pistol. "What?!"

"Kill him," Ralph repeated. "He has hurt you more than me. If you cared about your past lovers even a little bit, you'd take this chance to kill him. Do it."

Magnus looked at Ralph, and then at the pistol, and then Alec. Alec was already on his knees in the snow, his face downcast. He looked very, very tired.

Slowly, Magnus inched towards him, his hands shaking as he held the pistol and fiddled with its barrel. Alec didn't look up, even as Magnus stood in front of him and held the pistol against his forehead.

Alec looked up at him then, his eyes wide and blue, carefully devoid of any emotion. Maybe things would never be the same between them. Maybe this was the only way to end things.

Alec shut his eyes, his face turned upwards towards Magnus. He tried to guess what Alec might be thinking. He couldn't.

_ Oh, who am I kidding? _ Magnus thought and pulled the trigger.

The pistol clicked.

He pulled the trigger again. Again, there was only a clicking sound, but no bullet.

"Ralph?" He called out, turning to the other man, the pistol facing outwards. "I don't think this pistol's working properly."

"What?!" Ralph demanded, trudging through the snow towards Magnus. "Let me see that-"

Magnus pulled the trigger again. This time, the pistol fired, the bullet flying straight and burying itself in Ralph's abdomen.

Ralph's eyes were wide and full of hatred for Magnus. "You-"

Magnus fired again. This time the bullet hit his chest, in the middle of his ribs.

He opened his palm, the one that wasn't holding the pistol, and two bullets dropped to the ground.

_ What have I done? _

Magnus's hands were shaking, and he almost dropped the gun. He grabbed Alec's hand and pulled him up, running away from Ralph.

A few minutes later, they had to stop. In front of them, the ground fell away to reveal a deep gorge in the middle of the hill. Magnus stepped back, pulling Alec along, and looked around for an alternate escape route.

He let go of Alec's hand for a brief moment and looked at the gorge itself, trying to spot a bridge or anything else. Suddenly, Alec called out his name, and Magnus turned around just as Ralph crashed into him.

The pistol dropped from Magnus's hand, and he fell to the ground with Ralph on top of him. Magnus squirmed, trying to get Ralph off him. But Ralph's grip on him was too tight, and they rolled around in the snow, tumbling off the edge of the gorge.

Magnus gasped and scrambled with his hands, grasping at the rocks of the stone wall. He was hanging off the edge by his fingers, and Ralph was holding onto his waist tightly. Below them was a drop that they were very unlikely to survive.

Magnus heard the crunch of snow above him, and looked up to see Alec. His face was as blank as a pale white canvas. His hand was stretched out towards Magnus, and in his hand he held the pistol.

Magnus met Alec's eyes, and closed his own.

A gunshot echoed through the air.

Magnus felt Ralph's hands loosen and let go. He felt lighter, even as the sound of Ralph's dead body hitting the ground somewhere below echoed throughout the hills. Then Alec's hands were on him, pulling him up and into an embrace.

Magnus gasped for breath, and wound his own arms around Alec tightly. They stayed like that for a while, their bodies locked together, and then Magnus slowly pulled away.

"We need to go," he whispered. Alec nodded. They turned and walked back in the direction of the resort.

It was a very long walk. Somewhere along the way, Alec's footsteps behind Magnus stopped, and he turned around.

Alec was standing still, his face cast downwards. His shoulders were slumped. Magnus called out warily, "Alexander?"

Alec raised his head. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and for once they weren't blank. In the moonlight, Magnus could see a lot in those eyes - so much sorrow, and so much pain.ch pain.

And a whole lot of longing.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, and held the pistol still in his hand to his forehead. His hand was steady, and a tear escaped his eye, rolling down his cheek as his walls came tumbling down. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Magnus’s blood turned to ice, and he took a step towards Alec. “Alec-“

“Don’t try to stop me,” Alec said, his voice shaking slightly. “Just go live your life. Do what you want. Be with whoever you want. I won’t get in your way anymore.”

“Alexander,  _ no,”  _ Magnus pleaded, and his voice was shaking, too.

Alec shook his head. “You almost died so many times because of me, Magnus. If anything happened to you, and if I was responsible for that-“

“I’ll be fine, Alec.” Magnus crossed the distance between them and took Alec’s hands, moving the pistol away. “But,  _ please.  _ Don’t do this, I can’t lose another, Alec.  _ I can’t. _ ”

“It won’t make any difference.” Alec’s voice was low.

“It makes all the difference to me, love,” Magnus said. Alec shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again.

He looked up into Magnus’s eyes, then slowly leaned in and kissed him.

Magnus didn’t hesitate. He cupped Alec’s cheek with one hand and kissed him back.

The air was cold around them, but Magnus felt warm. He kissed Alec leisurely, as if they had all the time in the world.

"Magnus," Alec whispered, his breath warm against Magnus's lips. "I love you."

Before Magnus could say anything, Alec pulled away and moved back. Before Magnus could even utter a word, he pressed the pistol to his temple and pulled the trigger.


	7. Part 7

_ Click. _

All was still for a moment. Magnus was standing, frozen, with his arm stretched out. Alec eyes flew wide open, and he pulled the trigger once again. And again, and again.

Alec tried to fire the pistol over and over, and the pistol clicked away like a broken typewriter. The cartridge could hold only six bullets at a time, and they had all been used up.

Alec threw the pistol aside and dropped to the ground, covering his ears and screaming at the top of his lungs. Magnus moved then, running to Alec and fell to his knees. He threw his hands around Alec, holding him close in spite of all the screaming.

“Alec!” Magnus shouted into Alec’s ear. “Alec, it’s okay!”

The screaming subdued somewhat, breaking into sobs. Magnus stroked Alec’s back with his hands, comforting him as much as he could.

“Why?” Alec whispered, his voice breaking. “ _ Why?” _

Magnus was silent.  _ Why what? _

“Why are you so good to me?” Alec asked, almost as if he could hear Magnus’s thoughts. “After all I’ve done,  _ why?” _

Magnus paused for a moment, then said in a low voice, “Because someone has to.”

Alec’s head dropped down to Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus slowly got up, pulling Alec up to his feet. He could hear Alec muttering something under his breath, but couldn’t make out the individual words. Magnus pulled away from Alec, and saw that his hands were still over his ears. His eyes were closed, and there were tracks of wet tears running down his face.

Magnus carefully wiped the tears away, watching the way Alec’s lips moved.

“The blood,” he said, looking at the bloodstains on Alec’s face.

Alec shook his head. “Not mine.”

Magnus nodded. Then he took hold of one of Alec’s sleeves, and drew it down. He thought he’d seen something earlier, when Alec didn’t have anything on.

Alec gasped and tried to pull away, but Magnus had already caught his wrist. He moved closer and saw, in the moonlight, pale silvery scars on Alec’s wrist.

He traced them with his thumb and asked, “Why?”

“It got too much sometimes,” Alec whispered.

Magnus nodded, sympathetic, and picked Alec up in his arms. Alec curled into him, his eyes and ears still closed to the world, his lips still forming shapes unknown.

“Let’s go,” Magnus said, and off they went.

It was nearly eight o’clock when they returned to the resort.

It was nearly nine o’clock now, as Alec lay on the bed on his side, staring at the clock on the wall. Inside the bathroom, the shower was running. Magnus had persuaded Alec to use it first, and Alec had taken nearly half an hour, having simply sat on the ground for most of the time while the water sprayed over him, thinking until the hot water ran out.

Magnus hadn’t said anything about it. He’d simply waited until the water in the heater heated up, and then went in to take a shower. He was too good for Alec.

But Alec couldn’t help but think about the events earlier today, when Magnus, from the look of it, had sliced open Lucas with a knife. Magnus had fired two bullets into Ralph. Magnus - sweet, gentle Magnus - who’d never even harmed a fly, had done all of that for him.

Alec couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Magnus become a monster like him.

The bathroom door opened and Magnus stepped out, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. His hair was still damp from the shower. Steam poured out of the bathroom from behind him even as Magnus turned to shut the door.

Alec turned his attention from Magnus back to the clock. It was a minute or so past nine now.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat?” Magnus’s asked from somewhere behind him.

“No,” Alec said. He’d said the same answer every time Magnus asked him in the past hour. Magnus himself had eaten when Alec was still in the shower.

There was the sound of rustling, and then the lights turned off. Alec blinked in the darkness. He felt the mattress under him shift as Magnus climbed into bed, under the blanket that covered Alec’s body and curled his body around Alec. Alec’s breath hitched in his breath when he felt Magnus’s arm curl around him from behind.

“Good night,” Magnus whispered, his breath tickling the back of Alec’s neck.

Alec lay in the dark with bated breath. He couldn’t see the clock anymore. He waited until the darkness shifted, and he could feel Magnus’s breathing become slow and steady.

Slowly, Alec turned around in Magnus’s arms. He shifted a little, pressing his ear to Magnus’s chest. His heart was beating its steady rhythm. He could hear the rush of blood inside his veins, the swirl of air inside his lungs as his chest slowly moved up and down. He was teeming with life.

Alec looked up. Magnus’s eyes were closed, his lashes like black streaks of ink against his skin. His face was smooth and calm, seemingly undisturbed by Alec’s movements.

_ He’s always been a heavy sleeper,  _ Alec thought, and the thought brought tears to his eyes.

He sniffled and pressed his face into Magnus’s chest, inhaling the scent of sandalwood and snow.

Out loud, he said to unlistening ears, “I thought you were dead.”

When Magnus woke up the next morning and saw Alec curled into him, his face buried in Magnus’s chest, he had an epiphany. He wanted to wake up like this every morning, with Alec well and alive and by his side.

He cherished the possibility for a moment, and tried to pull away, but Alec had an arm wrapped around him. He stirred uneasily and moved closer to Magnus, even in sleep.

“Stay,” he whispered.

Magnus stared at him for a moment, his breath stuck somewhere deep in his lungs. He ran his fingers through Alec’s silky hair, and the tiny crease between his eyebrows disappeared. Alec looked completely at peace, so much that Magnus couldn’t help but wonder if he could feel Magnus’s touch.

“Okay,” Magnus whispered, and stayed.

In the end, he only ended up staying for a few minutes.

There was too much running through his mind. He wanted to be with Alec. But there was too much holding him back. He had every reason to stay, and every reason to leave. He didn’t know what to do.

So he slowly pulled himself out of Alec’s grip, took a quick shower and went out to the lounge which was thankfully empty. Magnus sat down on one of the plush couches and called someone who would know what to do.

“Catarina,” he said when he picked up. “I need your help.”

He quickly explained his dilemma to Catarina, leaving out the part where Alec was a murderer and just saying that he had a questionable hobby.

"And what exactly is this questionable hobby?" Catarina asked. Magnus bit his lip.

"It's a little shady," was all he said.

"Okay, nevermind. I don't want to know. Shady hobbies aside, do you love him?"

Magnus thought of everything he felt for Alec, every single pang of joy or sorrow, remembered the fear he felt for Alec last night when he was afraid that he would lose him forever.

"Yes," Magnus said.

"Then go for it!" Catarina almost yelled. Magnus was almost tempted to hold the phone away from him, and would've done so had she not lowered her voice again. "Look, Magnus, I've seen just how happy you are with him. Ragnor thinks he's good for you, and you know what Ragnor's like. Take my advice, and get back together with him, otherwise you'll just turn out to be the biggest idiot in the world."

Magnus snorted.

"And as for his hobby, you'll have to learn to deal with it, I'm afraid. Love transcends everything else, Magnus. Including weird and shady hobbies."

Magnus suddenly remembered Yoosung's voice, telling him that he just had to accept Shinyun for what she was. Magnus had to do the same now, then.

But…

"Camille," he added in a low voice. "Etta. Woolsey. All of them."

"Is  _ that  _ what this is about?" Catarina sounded incredulous. "Magnus, they're all gone. You need to move on. "

"I did move on," he said. "But.. it's not fair."

"Nothing's ever fair, Magnus," she said softly. "You just have to accept it. Besides, if they really cared for you, they'd be happy that you found love. If it was me, I'd want you to move on with your life. Don't think about it too much, okay?"

"Thanks, Cat," he said in a low voice. "I'll think about it."

"Don't just think about it," Catarina warned. "Give him a chance. Give yourselves a chance. The next time I see you, if you're not with him, I'll drive a surgical blade through your heart."

Magnus gave a nervous little laugh at that. Catarina didn't mean that, of course.

"Okay," he said and this time he smiled, too. "I'll do it. I'll give it a chance."

The morning buffet wasn't ready yet, so Magnus went directly back to the room. Maybe he and Alec would both go to breakfast together, hand in hand.

Except when Magnus opened the door, it was to the sight of Alec packing his bags.

"Alec?" He said, and Alec whirled around to face him. "What are you doing?"

Alec looked at him with a resolute expression and gestured to the bags. "I'm leaving."

"But…" Magnus blinked, more confused than anything else. "Where to?"

Alec looked away sharply. "I don't know. Somewhere isolated. Somewhere where I can't hurt anyone."

_ Somewhere far away from you,  _ he did not need to add.

"But, Alec-"

Alec shook his head. "Don't worry. I won't  _ kill  _ myself." He let out a bitter laugh. "I just want you to be safe. I… I'm hurting you just by being near you, Magnus. Lucas, Ralph… if it weren't for me, they wouldn't have tried to kill you."

"Alexander," Magnus exhaled. "That was on them, not you."

"But you have to admit that I did hurt you," Alec said, not meeting Magnus's gaze. "I tried to kill you. I triggered all your panic attacks. I-"

"Not  _ all  _ my panic attacks," Magnus pointed out. "And besides, they weren't caused by you, they were caused by  _ my  _ fear."

Magnus considered this new realisation for a moment, then said, "So we just have to make sure I don't get scared. Okay then, no late night horror movies."

Alec's eyes narrowed, briefly flickering in his direction. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Magnus shrugged. "Maybe it means I want to get back together."

Alec whipped his head up, looking in Magnus's direction. When he saw that Magnus meant it, his body jolted as if he'd received an electric shock.

Alec turned away. "No."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "No?"

Alec shook his head, which was still turned away from Magnus.

"But I thought you loved me?"

"No, I don't!" Alec almost yelled. "I fucking don't, okay?! I'm just some weird creep obsessed with you! I-"

Alec cut off abruptly, breathing hard. Magnus thought he could see tears in Alec's eyes.

"You don't mean that," Magnus said in a low voice. "Alec, look here."

Magnus took hold of Alec's chin and gently turned Alec's face towards himself. Alec still wouldn't meet his eyes, but Magnus could see the tears swimming in his.

"I really do love you, Alexander," he said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. Alec shut his eyes tightly.

"Magnus," he pleaded. "Please… don't…"

"I really do mean it," Magnus went on. "I'm not lying to you, Alec. I never lied to you."

Alec gave a minute shake of his head. "You broke my heart into pieces last time… so many pieces… I don't even know if I have a heart anymore. I don't know if I ever had a heart to begin with."

"Of course you have a heart, Alexander," Magnus said, cupping Alec's cheek. "You gave it to me remember?"

Alec's eyes flew open and he stared at Magnus.

"I'll admit I haven't been taking the best care of it," he said, cupping Alec's other cheek and wiping away his tears as they came. "Can you forgive me?"

Alec's lips quivered and he said, sounding lost, "You won't be happy with me."

"I think  _ I  _ should be the judge of that," Magnus countered, his voice serious. "And I know I will."

"I killed your exes," Alec added in a dull voice. 

"What's done is done," Magnus said. "And who knows? Maybe we would've found each other even if you didn't kill them."

Magnus leaned in and touched his forehead to Alec's. "We're tied together, Alec. You and I. You were right about that. I can't untangle myself from you, no matter how much I try."

“I’m a  _ monster,  _ Magnus!” he almost yelled. Then, in a much quieter voice, he said, “I’m a monster, I- you  _ can’t  _ be with me.”

Magnus looked into his eyes. “If you’re a monster, then what am I, Alec? What should I call myself for loving you, knowing all the things you’ve done?”

"But," Alec choked out, shaking his head, "But-"

"But what?" Magnus pulled away and searched Alec's eyes, and his heart almost broke when he realised that there was one possibility he hadn't thought of.

"Alexander," he said in a low voice, looking straight into Alec's eyes which at the moment looked like broken blue stained glass. "Don't you want to be with me?"

Alec pulled in a sharp, ragged breath.

"I do," he said, and his voice shook. "By God, I do, but.."

He hesitated a moment, and then added, "But I've hurt you. What if I hurt you again? What if I lose control and do something to you?"

Magnus gave him a small smile, absentmindedly stroking his thumb across Alec's cheekbone.

"Then I just have to trust that you won't."

He leaned in and kissed Alec.

Like all the kisses he’d ever had with Alec, this one was one of a kind. It tasted of salt and mint, of sweetness and sorrow, of pain and regret and most importantly, love. Alec instantly gave into it, melting at Magnus's touch, leaning into him. Magnus could feel his heart drumming a low drum beat in his chest as Alec touched him, his shy hands running through Magnus's hair before going down his back, and up his chest, slowly sliding between Magnus's shoulders and his jacket.

"You mean it?" Alec whispered, not breaking away from the kiss.

"I mean it," Magnus replied, pressing his lips firmly against Alec’s, and the kiss turned into something else. It was open-mouthed and hot and downright dizzying. Magnus's hands roamed down Alec's body, curling into his sweater, his own jacket sliding off his shoulders.

Magnus removed his hands from Alec for a moment and took off the jacket without breaking the kiss. He threw himself back into it enthusiastically, wrapping his hands around Alec's body and pulling him in until their chests were pressed flush against each other. Alec gasped, his hands tightening around Magnus's shirt collar.

Magnus found the hem of Alec's sweater and slid his hands into it, meeting Alec's bare skin. He needed more. He needed Alec, right here, right now.

Alec turned Magnus around and pushed him onto the bed. They fell together, their bodies entangled and teeth clashing as they kissed fervently. Alec broke off the kiss and pressed his mouth to Magnus's neck, biting and sucking, his hands pulling apart Magnus's shirt by the buttons. Magnus gasped as Alec bit down hard on the sensitive skin there and pulled Alec’s sweater up and over his head.

Alec pulled away from Magnus, his sweater coming off and falling somewhere on the ground. Magnus pulled off his own shirt, which was already unbuttoned thanks to Alec, and threw it aside. Magnus heard a distant thud, and realised that Alec had thrown his bags to the ground.

He turned back to Magnus, who was lying on the bed straddled by Alec, both of them breathing hard from the kiss. Just the sight of Alec on top of him was getting Magnus hot and bothered.

Alec bent down and kissed him, his hands trailing all over Magnus's chest. Magnus moaned into the kiss, heat pooling up in his stomach as Alec touched him.

"Wait," he said and got off the bed, going straight for his suitcase. He dug through it for a while, and finally found what he was looking for, somewhere in the bottom.

He showed Alec the bottle of lube and unopened condom in his hand and said, "I didn't think I'd have to use them."

Alec's breathing was loud enough to be heard throughout the room. His pupils, Magnus had noticed, had gotten so big they almost swallowed up his irises.

Alec nodded, and Magnus went back to the bed, putting the lube and condom on the nearest nightstand. He kissed Alec, slowly pushing him back until he was lying on his back. Magnus straddled him, slowly rolling their hips together and eliciting a moan from Alec.

He whispered, “You know how this works, right?”

“I do,” Alec said, his voice ragged. “I.. made sure I knew everything. I wanted to be the perfect partner for you.”

Magnus chuckled. “You’ll always be perfect for me, Alexander.”

He rid them both of the rest of the clothes and kissed Alec again, watching his eyes turn dark with desire as Magnus leaned in. Magnus kissed Alec with all he had, his exploring Alec’s mouth with his tongue, his hand dipping lower, tracing the lines of his waist and hips. The sound of a cap being opened resonated throughout the room like a clap of thunder, and the world around them fell apart.

Outside, snowflakes slowly fluttered to the ground, covering the Earth like a blanket. Cutlery clinked against ceramic in the dining hall, and laughter echoed off the rooftops. Somewhere across the world, toasts were being made to welcome the new year. Inside the resort, in a little room on the ground floor, Magnus and Alec wrote a new testament to their love, signing their names in each other’s blood, tracing their smiles with each other’s lips, vowing to always be together without moving their lips.

And when the high descended and they lay together on the bed, their bodies curled together, all Magnus felt was peace. He curled his arm around Alec, felt him smile into his neck, and realised that, for once, he had no regrets about Alec.

They never made it out in time for breakfast.

Alec sat on the rock outside, the resort in front of him, the woods and the sounds of laughter behind, and snow all around.

After a long time, he felt light again, as if he was floating in the clouds. It felt nice. Alec lightly kicked the snow near his feet, a small smile on his face as he looked into the distance.

After everything, Magnus was his. Magnus was finally his.

He thought again of what had happened that morning. He had imagined, many times, what it would be like, to be surrounded by Magnus’s warmth while pleasure filled his veins with bliss.

It was much better than what he’d ever imagined.

He’d heard many rumours, too, that Magnus was very good at it, and he was. He had done Alec without hurting him at all, and  _ God  _ it felt so good. Alec’s breath stuttered just thinking of it.

He pushed those thoughts aside. There was more to think of, anyway. Like the fact that Magnus loved him. Like the fact that Magnus trusted him, even though Alec didn’t trust himself.

Would there come a day when they’d have to face difficulties again? Alec didn’t know, but he hoped they didn’t have to. He just wanted Magnus and him to be together, and to be happy. That’s all he wanted.

Something cold and hard hit the back of Alec’s head, jolting him out of his thoughts. Alec felt icy cold water trickle down his neck and turned to see Magnus, grinning, flanked by Helen and Aline on either side.

“It was him!” Aline yelled, flailing her arms and pointing to Magnus. “It wasn’t me, it was all him!”

Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus, whose grin only widened. He scooped up a handful of snow and threw it in the direction of Magnus. Magnus’s eyes widened and he tried to dodge the snowball, but failed.

Magnus gasped in mock offence, brushing the snow out of his hair. He bent down and picked up another handful of snow, and the fight was on.

“Okay, I give up!” Alec laughed as Magnus tackled him into the snow. “I give up!”

Magnus grinned, and Aline called out from a distance, “Well, we’ll be off now!”

Alec turned to her. “Why?”

“It’s New Year’s Eve,” Aline said. “And the party starts in a few hours.”

Alec frowned slightly. Magnus could understand. He couldn’t believe it was already New Year’s Eve.

“So you’re going to spend the whole time dressing up?” Alec asked, incredulously.

Aline eyed Helen slyly, “Well, we’re planning to do more dressing down than dressing up-“

Helen gasped - “Aline!” - and clasped a hand over her girlfriend’s mouth, dragging her away. Magnus watched them leave, Aline almost doubling over with laughter, and then turned to Alec below him.

At some point, Magnus had propped himself up on his elbows, his body covering Alec’s almost entirely. The snow fight had gotten out of hand, and Helen and Aline had joined in, too, until the four of them were drenched in snow and laughter.

Alec’s eyes flickered to Magnus, doing a double take of the very compromising position the two were in, and he looked away, a blush blooming over his face. Magnus bent down and kissed Alec’s burning cheek.

“Everything okay, darling?” Magnus asked. He had noticed Alec’s somber mood earlier, before the snow fight had started.

Alec nodded slightly, his hands sliding up Magnus’s jacket and coming to rest at his collar. He took hold of Magnus’s collar and pulled him in, kissing him slow and sweet, as if they had all the time in the world. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and flipped them over. Alec gasped softly, and his warmth on top of Magnus was a stark contrast to the cold of the snow below him. Magnus looked at Alec and said gently,

"You haven't answered my question, Alexander."

Alec fiddled with the collar of Magnus's jacket. "I love you," he said. 

Magnus smiled and kissed Alec's cheek. "I love you too."

"I just can't believe it," Alec confessed, his voice a low whisper. "That you.. that you love me."

Magnus's smile widened. "It  _ is  _ unbelievable, isn't?"

Magnus pulled Alec close, wrapping his arms around him until their bodies were pressed flush against each other. Alec rested his head against Magnus's heart, and Magnus could hear his heartbeat, thrumming strangely in his chest.

He looked up at the stars, some hidden away by the crowns of the trees surrounding them, and felt warmth spread through his whole body, like the warmth one felt after their first sip of alcohol. Magnus's arms went tighter around Alec, who sighed contentedly, and he wished that they could stay in that moment forever.

The New Year's Eve party was, by Magnus's standards, fine.

The banquet hall of the resort was doused in golden light, and people from the town were attending, too. There was a row of tables to one side full of drinks and food, and music played from speakers hidden in the ceiling as couples danced on the floor in front of them.

Magnus had been to much wilder parties, but he didn't mind at the moment. He wasn't in the mood for a wild party, anyway.

He and Alec sat on a loveseat on one edge of the hall, watching the couples dance. Alec seemed to be in a somber mood again. Magnus espied Helen and Aline dancing together, and tugged at Alec's hand just as the starting notes of a familiar tune started playing.

"Let's dance," Magnus said.

_ There's glitter on the floor after the party _

_ Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby _

_ Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor _

_ You and me from the night before but… _

Alec looked at Magnus and let him pull him up to his feet and onto the dance floor. Magnus faced Alec, wrapping a hand around his waist and intertwining his other hand with Alec's. Alec placed his free hand on Magnus's shoulder and they danced, Magnus leading them.

_ Don't read the last page _

_ But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away _

_ I want your midnights _

_ But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day _

The other dancing couples, the glimmer of the hall, the entire world itself fell away as Magnus looked into Alec's eyes. They swayed together to the tune, moving as one.

They were bound by the red string, and no one could separate them.

_ You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi _

_ I can tell that it's going to be a long road _

_ I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe _

_ Or if you strike out and you're crawling home _

Magnus thought again of all that had happened in the past two years. There had been so much loss, and so much pain, but they made it.

Magnus stared deep into Alec's blue eyes, feeling like he was drowning in them. He thought,

_ We made it out. _

_ Don't read the last page _

_ But I stay when it's hard or it's wrong or you're making mistakes _

_ I want your midnights _

_ But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day _

Maybe Alec was thinking the same thing. Maybe he wasn't. But he leant in and hugged Magnus tight, and Magnus felt something tug at his chest.

He had experienced love many times before. But he had no idea that love could be like this, like a blade cutting through his heart and leaving him bleeding.

He would have it no other way.

He wrapped his arms around Alec and held on.

_ Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you _

_ Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you _

_ Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you _

_ And I will hold on to you _

The clock soon struck midnight, and the world around them rejoiced. Inside the hall, in their own personal bubble, Magnus and Alec had already begun kissing.

It was amazing, Magnus thought for the umpteenth time, just how much could change in five years.

He and Alec strode through the beaches of Los Angeles, their feet bare in the sand. They had visited for a book signing, and were to leave in a few hours, but there was something Magnus wanted to do first.

Alec nudged him. "You're daydreaming again."

"Now, now, Alexander," Magnus said, grabbing Alec by the waist and burying his face in the crook of Alec's neck, kissing the soft skin there. "Why would I daydream when you're right here?"

Alec gasped. "Magnus," he chided, "We're in public."

His voice was light and carefree, just like how Alec was on most of his good days. It had taken a lot of time for the two of them to build up their relationship again, to bring it back to where it was, but they cherished it all the same.

"So what?" Magnus whispered into Alec's ear. Alec laughed and squirmed out of Magnus's grip. His face was flushed and glowing, and he was looking at Magnus.

"There'll be a lot of time for it later, love," Alec said, looking at Magnus through his lashes, and Magnus felt his heart skip a beat.  _ Even after so many years. _

"There better be," Magnus said. "I'm going to pay you back for all the pounding you've given me."

Alec blushed fiercely and looked at the horizon, the sun shining bright and golden over the sea. Magnus looked at Alec for a long moment. The sea breeze was whipping through his dark hair, falling into his blue eyes. Magnus wanted to stop this moment and preserve it forever, somewhere deep inside his heart.

Sometimes, when people want to make new memories, when they want to make a change, they revisit the old memories first. That's why Magnus felt nostalgic the past few days, why he thought back on those memories of days long gone.

There was no fear anymore. Sometimes Magnus would find Alec in an alleyway, covered in blood, a knife in his shaking hands and a corpse at his feet, and it was alright. He had no idea from when it was alright. But it was.

Magnus took a deep breath. He'd had his doubts about Alec, long ago. But Alec had given him no reason to leave, and Magnus had accepted him wholeheartedly, loving him even after all he did.

That was enough.

No more second thoughts.

Magnus looked at Alec once more, and reached into his back pocket. He had bought it a couple of months ago, but hadn't found the right time, not until now.

He pulled the ring out and knelt down in the sand.

"Alexander?"


End file.
